I had a dream the other night that I was at my sister’s wedding and there was a partially nude photograph of her in the program. My mom, shocked, leaned over and whispered to me, “Did you know about this?” and I said, “Oh my God. Maybe she thought it was ‘artsy’.”
Also included in the program was a plastic sleeve filled with tiny gold candles. They were to be burned for the worries of the mothers, to burn away all that would stand in the way of this marriage working well.
In the dream I felt envious that my sister thought of this ritual and I didn’t. I wanted all of the worries burned before I got married too. All of Matt’s worries, my worries, worries about the future (what happens when we have kids?) worries about the present (are things “perfect” enough to get married?)
But maybe that’s just life. You make choices, you make commitments, worries and all.
Before Matt asked me to marry him, he kept waiting for this moment, this right moment when he would have no doubts at all, no fears, no worries… and then he would pop the question. But that moment never came, and he realized that one day you just do it. You pop the question in the face of those fears.
And the amazing thing is those fears slowly began to dissolve…
A site I like:
Oh, and the answer to puzzle from this week:
In order from left to right: Ric, (my dear roommate) Grant (studies penguins in Antarctica every year) and Matt (the one who asked me to marry him) Thank you for your comments on this!
hi. i enjoyed today’s entry. the ‘hitting’ entry however almost made me start crying at my desk at work and i was too worked up to write a comment. oh and thanks for giving us the answer on the picture. he is the one i would have picked for you anyway. 🙂
there is never a “perfect” moment for a proposal… I was proposed to in the laundry room of our new house, with the ring box in the bag of groceries, while covered in wall-paper paste (we had just moved in). I wanted to kill him. I didn’t want to remember my proposal like this… then we got married, and now I think it’s the funniest story ever. We are renovating the basement now, and I dread not being able to point out to the spot in the laundry room floor where I found the ring in the grocery bags….
I like the candle idea…
And no, there’s no point in worrying about the perfect moment. Even the most plotted-out proposals aren’t perfect. My now-husband wanted to take me to the Signature Room at the top of the Hancock building in Chicago to propose – but ended up doing it at our hotel while we were watching “Miss Congeniality.” Not what I imagined….
one of my most anxious times in life i ran across an article somewhere that stated to blow out your worries. when you have a worry in your head, visualize that as you inhale you’re sucking/vaccuming it up to your mouth and then exhale deeply blowing it into the air, freeing it. for me these visualizations/meditations always work. perhaps it’s the breathing that actually benefits me, but i like the idea of setting free the worry. so now, i make my friends practice it with me when they’re feeling frantic….of course some of them find the act silly….but for me it works!
my partner and I have been together almost 14 years and we are not married. There was never a right moment. We have a 12 year old and still there wasn’t a right moment. Strange now that it never came. I never dreamed of my wedding or my dress. Never even thought about it growing up. I guess that is why it never happened for me. I do love the candle ceremony though. What a wonderful idea.
I turned 32 on Friday and my younger and much wiser brother reminded me to not “think like the sheep” and worry about not the “supposed to”s of being 32 accomplished. By this I mean supposed to be successful, supposed to be married, supposed to have children…and I suppose I could go on. My boyfriend is 45 and the age has never been an issue until I turned 32 and was achingly aware of the supposed to’s. I began to wonder when we would start the life we are supposed to have already. On the night of my birthday, following a lovely day and before an even lovlier meal Michael broke down and and gave me “The Ring”…as in the movie. I suppose he meant to be funny…