When I first looked at this photo I noticed something different about it but I wasn’t sure what it was.
When I showed it to a friend she said, “I love this! It’s a photo of how you see Matt?” and I think she’s right. What Matt shows to the world is something so exuberant, so wild, so funny. He is the life of the party, making people laugh with this quick wit, his silly oversized Anne Klein glasses he breaks out for parties, his assless overalls, (Have I mentioned these before?) and his warm laughter and confidence.
These are all things I love about Matt, but what this picture speaks of is another part of Matt, the quiet side of him that feels vulnerable and afraid and looks deep into my eyes and asks, “Do you still love me?”
I’ve been struggling lately with our wedding ceremony and vows. How do you encapsulate all of the beauty, all of the goodness, all of the pleasure, all of the safety into a few concise sentences? How do you prove to your entire family and community that what you share is real and good and will last? How do you do it the honor it deserves?
I’ve been considering all of the angles I might approach this from. A list?
I love Matt because… he makes me laugh, he is generous, he gives great hugs, he is creative and smart and emotionally evolved.
Do I describe the moment when I knew he was the one, when that poem came through over email that made me fall in love?
Do I describe the time when, before I flew to Mexico, Matt wanted to give me a strip of photobooth photos to take with me, but the machine broke so he acted out each frame of the strip that was stuck in the machine?
Or do I just describe the profound joy I feel, at those moments when he?s not doing anything at all, and somehow I can just see him, like in this photo.