I went to Matt’s Kung Fu class last night to check it out. It was great except for when the fighting started. They call this part of the practice the “applications.”
I was paired with a girl who wore tons of black eyeliner and didn’t smile. Her tee shirt said, “Emily wants YOU to leave me alone!”
As she gestured a punch toward my face, I tried to look casual, like I’d been in millions of fights before, but I saw this look in her eyes that made me wince. I blocked her punches with my forearm and felt a bruise immediately form. “Damn! that hurts!” I said. “Yeah, that’s just how it is,” she said and punched me again.
The teacher came over to show us the next part of the move. She was instructed to cross my arms, pin them to my torso, and then go in for the jugular. Literally, she lunged forward, grabbed my neck, put a hand in the small of my back, and arched me to the floor. “Can’t she just GESTURE like she’s going for my neck?” I asked. “Yes, definitely”, the teacher said, “this part makes some people uncomfortable.”
I think Matt really wanted me to love it more. He imagined us at home doing moves from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. With a “Suh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” we’d be floating across the kitchen in praying mantis stance.