“Those of you who are scattered,
simplify your worrying lives. There is one
righteousness: Water the fruit trees,
and don’t water the thorns.”
I smiled when I read this passage this morning. I smiled because of its truth, I smiled knowing that I have been watering so many fears and worries and what-ifs and it’ll-never-works and why-me’s… and I smiled because there is a way out. There is a way out of the tangle of sadness, out of the habit of sadness, and at this moment, I see that I have a choice: Where am I going to put my attention? What thoughts will I water today? Will it be the fruit trees or the thorns?
I had a tarot reading last night at a trunk show. We looked at my barriers to pregnancy and one of the cards that came up was about exactly this. She told me, “We get what we put our attention on. We know what we’ve been thinking about when we look at our lives. Our lives are a manifestation of our thoughts.”
I’ve been feeling very sorry for myself for a long time… And this morning, I can laugh at myself a bit. I can see that I am tired of telling the same old story over and over again (even to myself).
What story are you tired of telling?
This isn’t about positive thinking. This isn’t about denial or looking at the bright side. This is about creating and manifesting and causing magic in your life. This is choosing joy, choosing gratitude, choosing aliveness over fear and worry and cynicism.
It is simple but not easy. It is rigorous and it takes practice. It is a muscle to exercise. As it gets stronger it gets easier and more fun. It is a gift you give yourself.
It is being really present with the sadness or concern or anger or rage or joy. It is not resisting it, but embracing it. It is making a conscious choice.
I’ve been choosing the thorns for a while. I have felt their sharpness, I have seen how they protect, I have noticed how alongside the blooms, they can even be beautiful. But I am on a new journey, a new exploration.
“Mad with thirst, he can drink from the stream
running so close by his face. He’s like a pearl
on the deep bottom, wondering, inside his shell,
Where’s the ocean?”
I am that pearl. And I am laughing at the sight of water.