leaves like stars, Canon Digital Rebel
Another blog idea from Maggie’s book. (page 5)
One of my favorite conversations with a wee little guy:
Me: (excited to see him after a long time) Hey dude! How you doin?
Little guy: (brow furrowed looking concentrated)
Me: You okay?
Little guy: (in a very serious voice, looking me straight in the eye) I just pooped.
I want to hear your favorite conversations with cute little people!
…
And on an entirely different topic, this link had me laughing out loud. {via Tablehopper} Turn on the volume on your computer, choose the first product, click “see side effects” and choose “bake bread.”
![[Podcast] Manifest Anything You Want with Shantini Rajah](https://i0.wp.com/www.andreascher.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/WEBSITE_Graphics_for_Podcast_Instagram_Post_Square_3-20240516-g2j5dalikz.png?resize=400%2C300&ssl=1)
![[Podcast] The Good Eater with Nina Guilbeault](https://i0.wp.com/www.andreascher.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/nina_school_of_wonder.png?resize=400%2C300&ssl=1)
![[Podcast] The medicine of poetry with James Crews](https://i0.wp.com/www.andreascher.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/james_crews_school_of_wonder.png?resize=400%2C300&ssl=1)
A conversation between my nephew & I.
Matt- Auntie Megan did you see my classroom?
Me- Yep I sure did you are going to have som much fun in kindergarten.
Matt- Did you see the science room?
Me – I did, I bet you will do mad scientist experiments in there.
Matt – Did you see the turtle pond in the classroom?
Me – I did.
Matt- Do you know what there is a fence in the middle of the pond?
Me – Nope, I don’t do you?
Matt – Of course I do. It’s to keep the boy and girl turtles from getting together are marinating.
Me – You mean mating?
Matt – No marinating. You know making baby turtles.
Me – Oh yeah marinating….we need to find your mom Matt she needs to hear this one.
Matt – Okay, she’s in the kitchen. Let’s go.
not really a conversation but something that my Kadison said to me that was so adorable ~
Me – “haaa choooo” (i sneezed)
Her – looking straight at me “Bleth you Mama”
Me – dumbfounded “Thank you honey”
Her – in all seriousness “Your welcome”
at 1 1/2 it’s pretty damn adorable and funny!
While driving my son, Ross to school. He was 3 at the time.
Dawn – … and R.O.S.S spells your name, ROSS.
Dawn – … and D.A.W.N spells my name.
Dawn – so what does D.A.W.N spell?
Ross – MOM
Me and the 2-year-old twins I used to be a nanny for:
Parker: Shut up, Reed! You’re a stupid!
Me: Parker, we don’t call people names. That’s not very kind.
Reed: When Daddy gets mad at Mommy, he calls her a bitch.
Parker: Or a motherf***er.
Mommy: BOYS! GET IN HERE! (then, to me) I don’t know where they get this stuff!
Me: I got you “The Stinky Cheese Man” and it’s a really funny book.
Him (4 years old): What’s it about?
Me: It’s really silly and funny. Would you like it?
Him: Uhm, no.
Me: Don’t you like silly books?
Him: Uhm, no.
His Mom: I have a humourless child.
I guess maybe you had to be there. 🙂
As for baking bread….funny AND sexy! The perfect combination!
I think this conversation with my 6 yr old daughter Molly, has to be one of my favourites…
Molly . “When I’m grown up, I’m going to live in a cottage with twin boys and twin girls and lots of kittens and ‘I’ won’t mind tidying up after them” (Bit of a dig at me there).
Me. “That sounds lovely, can I come and live with you ?”
Molly. ” No. You’ll be old and dead “.
Me. ” Oh. What about a husband ? Are you going to get married ?”
Molly. “Do I have to ? ”
Me. ” Ummm, well….”
Molly. – Huffy sigh – ” OH ALRIGHT THEN , but he’s got to be kind and gentle to my children, and he’s got to do EVERYTHING I say “.
That’s my girl.
I don’t associate much with those little people- they are way too smart for me. Plus, they can talk circles around me… but I did want to comment on your picture, Andrea- the leaves look like beautiful starfishes on the bottom of the ocean- I love it…
My son at about 3 years old, while rubbing my sore back:
Caleb: Mommy what are these?
Me: (thinking, that is the fat on my back) but replying, oh those are my hips.
Caleb: Oh, I love those.
I was a tourguide on a duckmobile this past summer, and I had this super-smart 2 or 3 year old little boy. We were waiting to launch in the water, and he said something smart or cool, so I asked for a high five. His mother said “Why don’t you shake her hand, why don’t you show her how you greet a lady?”
He then proceeds to turn my hand over and kiss it.
Absolutely adorable, I tell you. If I ever have a boy I am definitely teaching him this.
recently I was changing my son’s nappy at a mum’s group I atten and a two year old came up to me and asked “what are you doing?”
me “changng oscar’s pooey nappy”
she suddenly gets really close to me and is looking around then says “can I’ve a look?”.
My friend’s daughter, Subria, who is a little fashionista at 3 yrs old, was trying to tear my daughter’s necklace off of her neck, despite the shrieks of my 2 yr old daughter.
Me: Subria, don’t take that from Kenya.
Subria: I need a necklace!
Me: You already have a necklace, look!
Subria: (Thinks for a minute, then gestures dramatically) I neeeeed a HANDBAG!
Here’s another: My son Kai, after he put a rubber ducky on the foozball table and has been using it as a ball.
“Whoa, I TOTALLY foozed the duck!”
A conversation I had with a student of mine who has autism..
Me: Do you know what today is guys?
class: It’s President’s day!
The boy: Can I open mine now teacher???
He thought we were saying “Presents day”
And….I think presents day would be a great idea!!
omg…that reversa link was hilarious!
i couldn’t stop watching all the “side effects”. but you’re right…that first one with baking the bread was the ultimate. *slap, slap*.
; )
scrum dilly yumtious.
I was an Au Pair in England 10 years ago and took care of a boy aged 5. We spent a lot of time together talking about Things and I tried my best to answer his endless questions with my high-school English. This is my favourite conversation and did not really require much grammar / vocabulary from my part. 🙂
G: Kaisa, which hand do YOU hold your willy with when you wee?
K: Well..you know G, I don’t have a willy..?
G: Oh YES, I forgot! Sorry!
I don’t know if he was sorry for me for not having one or what. 🙂 And now he is alreay a teenager… *sigh*
one of my students walked into my classroom yesterday and asked…
student – miss, are we gonna watch a movie today?
me – why?
student – BECAUSE IT’S HALLOWEEEEEENNNNN!!!!!
i’m a high school teacher. my student is 18 years old. but… it’s proof that the “little person” inside you never gets old if refuse to let it happen.
My 5-year-old daughter Ruby always looks for interesting detours, no matter where we are. If we’re at a restaurant and need a restroom break, she’ll rarely follow the straightest path there — instead she’ll weave through tables and even crawl under some if they’re unoccupied. When we’re outside, a couple of bushes can become a jungle and she seldom stays on the sidewalk. One day I told her she was an adventurer. I wasn’t sure she heard me until later when I couldn’t find her and I heard a voice coming from some nearby shrubs. “I’m in here, mommy,” she said. “I’m adventuring the beautifulness.”
You know, I would swear that the photograph was staged. How perfect is that??
(*Psst* – Good to see you back!)
Our friend Margaret is the Dream Demographic for every retail marketing manager out there, toiling away on how to attract buyers. QVC? She’s there. A mall between herself and her destination? Gotta make a stop. Trip to Hong Kong? She needs an entire carton shipped back home. Well, for my daughter’s third birthday, Margaret arrives with gifts in hand – some cool funky blocks and a package of brand new Dora the Explorer Big Girl Panties. Hootie opened up the panties and exclaimed, “Auntie Margaret, I LOVE them. That’s JUST what I needed!” and then about 5 minutes later, snuck in the comment, “Auntie Margaret? I ALSO will be needing some NEMO Big Girl Panties too, the next time you go shopping.”
OH MY! I think Huz would kill me if I learn how to make pastry any more! hahahhahha! 😉
Me to hysterically funny almost 3 year old niece: Grey, do you make me laugh?
Grey, with smile on face: Yes I do.
My nephew, Joe, is about two years old and getting ready to leave. I give him a hug good bye.
Me: I love you, Joeybug.
Joe: I love you too! (stops and thinks for a minute)
Joe: I love all peoples.
Ok…conversations with wee ones…or from the mouths of babes? I think mine falls into the second category but here goes. When my boys were little they would always like to come into the bath with either me or my husband. One day little son #2 was in the bath with me…just barely about to communicate…he was staring intensely at my breasts and then suddenly asked “what’s underneath those?”. Now I’m off to check out the link.
Me: We’re going to go see Dr. Mendoza now.
Phoebe: We’re going to go see Dr. Mendoza!!!
Me: Oh wait, I mean, we’re going to go see Dr. Mendoza’s nurse.
Phoebe: Uh, mama? DId Dr. Mendoza have a baby?
Me: No, no…
(see, because she thought we were going to go watch Dr. Mendoza nurse…..)
last night…
Me: Zach, that is an awesome lion costume. What sounds do lions make?
Zach: PUPPY!!!
Me: Zach, is that a DORA backpack?
Zach: Puppy!!!
Me: Zach, your Mom tells me that you can count to three…can you count to three?
Zach: *grumble* ….*grumble*…PUPPY!!!
Me: OH…so you do you want to pet the puppy? (thinking that maybe I can let go of the canine fury known as Genghis the Beagle) Here he comes, get ready for the puppy!!!!
Zach: 3,2,1, GO….(runs….AWAY…from the puppy…puppy happily follows the tiny food-flavored human, awesome!)
while in a public restroom I hear from the stall next to me from the voice of a small girl….
girl: Mom why is your butt so hairy… it’s so hairy.
Mom: honey, that’s not my butt, my butt is back here.
girl: oh my God I have to get out of here your butt is so hair.
suddenly the entire restroom was laughing outloud. Then, a few sorrys were said and it was silent again.
I am over hanging with my sister-in-law and niece, Olivia who is 2.5.
Sis: Olivia, you know you are not supposed to hit people. Now say you’re sorry.
O: {goes into instant paralysis and pretends to not hear her mother}
Sis: Olivia, I mean it if you don’t say you’re sorry then I am going to count to three and you will have to go have a time out.
O: 1,2,3!
Sis: Arrgg!
While in the car looking for a friend’s house with our then three year old:
Me to husband: I think it’s a couple blocks ahead.
Son (who had never been there before either): It is.
Me: How do you know?
Son: My sense of humor is telling me it is.
We never had the heart to tell him what a ‘sense of humor’ really meant.
…
My son came into the living room with one of his rockets that is kept on a bookshelf in our office. The shelf it lives on is the top one, close to the ceiling. Both of us had been in the living room so we knew he had climbed the shelves to retrieve it.
Dad: How did you get your rocket?
Son: I don’t know?
Dad: I think you do.
Son: I don’t know, it happened in quick movements.
Andrea, you’ll learn the art of trying to keep a straight face.
My sister was a surprise baby, ten years my junior. When she was around two, she weas adorable, but very teasable. Whenever I and my other sister would make her upset, she would, with her flair for the dramatic, scream her best insult at us:
“You STRAWBERRY!”
(Henry is 4 and he is awesome!)
Me: Hey Henry , How’s it going?
Henry: I have a frether on my boooot!
another:
Henry: Spiderwoman?
Me: Yes, Spiderman?
Henry: Spiderwoman ,Do you know that I have a girlfriend, named Mary Jane?
Me: Yeah I do.
Henry: Mary Jane needs insurance . How do I get her some?
well now this is the most I’ve laughed in ages!
~ * ~
on the way home from church on Palm Sunday, I casually ask my daughter “What did you learn about in church school today?”
my blonde pipsqueak (somewhat exasperatedly) “Oh, I don’t know, Mom, but next week we kill Jesus.”
~ * ~
Every day my son and I talk about interesting or funny things. Today after his haircut, my five-year-old son and I walked around the mall. He announced that he had to go to the bathroom, but that it wasn’t an emergency. Five minutes later, we were in the occupied restroom at Barnes & Noble when he loudly proclaimed, “I wasn’t feeling too good back there because I was holding in a really big FART!” Thanks for sharing, hon. ;^)
Lately my son has been asking me what heaven is like. This morning, when it was still dark, he woke up and immediately asked, “Are there shots or bees in heaven?” I said no. “Good,” he said, and went back to sleep.
He also tends to ask if I’ll be waiting for him in heaven when he dies, and I always tell him I will. “But that means you won’t be here with me when I’m still alive,” he once cried. I told him by that time he would likely have a family of his own that would bring him great joy, and that I would make birds sing for him after I go to heaven. He always likes that idea.
Needless to say, I’m never bored when we talk…
After a recent job promotion, this conversation with my almost 3 year old:
Me: Sweetie, I got a promotion.
Her: (Staring at me very intently) I want to see it.
I am still laughing my ass off at the “oh my God I have to get out of here your butt is so hair.”
Tears are rolling down my face!
I am still laughing at the “oh my God I have to get out of here your butt is so hair.”
Tears are rolling down my face!
can I share a quick two?
my three year old in the back seat starts bawling when a cop pulls my husband over and gives him a ticket. We ask why she’s crying and she says, “Now we’re not going to have money to buy food!” Made her dad feel pretty bad. Made me feel like saying, “hey save it for when the officer comes back to the window!”
The other day we were in the bathroom and she (now 4 and a bilingual world traveller) was asking questions about her body and I explained to her what her vagina is. She says, “But mom, vagina is also a country. Papi has been there and they eat vagina and they speak a language called vagina.”
Let me start off by saying that I’m neither a small person or a light one. Well, one night while I was babysitting one of my favorite kiddos, we were sitting on her bed reading and the bed broke. I later found out that her Dad had not put the bed slats in to prevent the bed from falling because she was so light (so I hadn’t really broken it after all). But then, there was the next time I was babysitting and it came time to read again before bed and this is how the conversation went…
Katie: Come sit on my bed Crystal.
Me: No, I think I’ll sit in a chair this time.
Katie: Ok, maybe that’s a good idea.
I pull over a chair, sit down and Katie climbs onto my lap. About half way thru the story, the chair breaks and we both end up on the floor. Katie jumps up and says…
Katie: Don’t worry! Daddy got it at the dump.
After her mother comes in and makes sure everyone is alright after the loud thud, she brings in another chair and tells me it should be sturdier.
Katie: I don’t know, maybe we should just sit on the floor.
You probably had to be there, but it was the funniest thing ever.
Another cute moment was a few months after I lost my mom to cancer. Katie (who was 5 at the time) was also close with her. One night not long after, I was over babysitting and we were having pizza for dinner when Katie said…
Katie: Everybody stop eating!
Me: Uh, okay kiddo, what’s up?
Katie: Crystal…do they have pizza in Heaven?
Me: Yeah, I think they probably do.
Katie: Okay, I just wanted to make sure your mommy could have pizza when she wanted to too!
I LOVE kids. 🙂
My neighbour just had a baby and already has a 4 year old. She was nursing and her son asked if she was finished. She said that she was not – she had to feed her on the other side. Her son asked “Why – is it a different flavour?”
Also, when you call and the 4 year old answers the phone – you ask for his mum and if she is nursing, he says she is “busy milking the baby”.
I was chatting with my nephew Ryan once about 4 months before his 5th birthday… I was asking him if he was already thinking about what he might want for a present and his response to me was, “All I want for my 5th Birthday is to be 6.”
I thought that was so profound… But then again the more I think about it, all I want for my 43rd Birthday is to be 32.
Made the mistake of checking out the website with my husband nearby. . . his comment?
“That guy’s not THAT ripped.”
haha
one night my 3 yo son sat on my lap for story time. he jumped up like something had hurt him terribly and he looked at me and said “mommy, your spikes are hurting me!” I hadn’t shaved my legs in a few days and had shorts on. So, next night he sits in my lap, feels my legs and give ms a big hug and says “mommy, i’m so glad you got rid of your spikes” me too, cause it meant he’d actually stay put for the story 😉
So funny that you should bring this up!
I set up another blog just the other day on this very same topic!
http://smalltalking.blogspot.com/
A record of some of the funniest and most endearing chats with my four-year-old!
I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m saving up my money to buy all the Reversa products just so I can experience a few of those “side effects!”
Thanks for making my day, Andrea, I have definitely been buying the wrong line of skin care ;-).
You’re getting close to the big day, aren’t you? How exciting!
Ooohhh! I teach kindergarten! I have lots of little kid stories. Here are a few:
*After reading Oh, The Places You’ll Go and talking about our dreams for the future, Alexa wrote: I want to be a princess when I grow up. I’ve been waiting my whole life for this.
*Marty: You know what snow reminds me of?
Me: No. Explain Marty.
Marty: Jesus eatin’ toast.
Me: Hmm, how do you figure that?
Marty: Well, you know! The bread crumbs!!
*While reading a book about dinosaurs, Hunter told me his dad recently killed one, and explained it was on the rocks in the woods. I’m still trying to figure out — was it a snake or a deer, or what?
I work with kids with special needs in the public school system and do a fair amount of speech therapy – I hear some pretty funny things from time to time, for example: me and my two little buddies were working with flash cards with arbitrary pics on them. One card had a pic of a small cage on it, my buddy had to say, “this is my cage” — I thought that this was a bit weird so I said to him, “but you wouldn’t fit in that cage, right?” He looked at me and said (I thought)”I would have to duck.” I said, “yes, you would have to duck to get inside.” He gave me a funny look….. then it dawned on me, no, he’s saying “stuck” without the “s” sound! Well, we had such a laugh over that. At the end of our session, as we were walking back to class, I heard him say to his twin brother, “that was fun,” which made my day. Kids are always ready for a good laugh — I love that about them.
C
My son Sam was to be going to a new school for third grade and he was a little nervous about it.
Sam: You know, if there are bullies, I’m just going to have to take care of them. And when I’m done taking care of them, I’m going to have to stand over them and say, “How do you feel about yourselves now?”
Last week we visited some friends on the west coast who have 3 small children. After eating a large pasta dinner, we all hung out in the living room and played with the kids. One of my friends children, a 4 year-old girl, was sitting on my lap – my husband pointed to my belly & asked her “Do you know what’s inside of her tummy?” (I am 7 months pregnant) –
The little girl smiled and said “Noodles!”
When my daughter was almost two, she was in bed getting ready to go to sleep.
My wife asked her gently, “Would you like to say your prayers?”
My daughter yelled, “Pears!?! I EAT da pears!”
a few years ago i taught a 4 year old sunday school class, the story was about when jesus turned the water into wine.
me: does anyone know what wine is?
little girl: it’s what mommy and daddy have BEFORE they go upstairs.
note to self – your child will tell people anything.
Overheard a group of 4-5 year-olds eating lunch together:
“Boys can kiss girls and girls can kiss boys but boys can’t kiss boys and girls can’t kiss girls.”
“Yes, they can!”
“No they can’t!”
“Well, why not?”
“Because your mom and dad will get really mad.”
My conversation with a 4 year old cutie pie:
Me: Sofia, your sooo funny!
Her: No, I’m not funny.
Me: Ooh, sorry. Your so silly.
Her: I am NOT silly.
Me: Then what are you?
Her: I’m JUST a WOMAN!!
Interesting…
I always find such conversations interesting. I’ve got no kid yet but I have a giant interest on these tiny cute creatures.
😀
BTW, I really like your blog!