me and ben, Canon Rebel Xti
Sometimes you have to tell stories over and over again until you are done with them, until they don’t have the same charge for you, until you finally feel transformed in the telling of it, she told me.
This is one of those stories.
We were having a fabulous time at the Academy of Sciences Friday when I suddenly noticed that Ben’s eyes were goopy. Oh Lord, I thought, he’s just getting over this cold and now pink eye! And of course, by reflex, my eyes started to itch too… Ugh, off to see the doctor.
The pediatrician just called in some drops for Ben, but my own doctor insisted I come in to be checked out. I almost never go to the doctor, and it was weird for me to go on this preemptive run, but I figured since it was Friday I should play it safe.
I turned around for a moment while I was being weighed in the exam room, and when I turned back around Ben was on the floor on his back. I didn’t see him fall but I lifted him up and he looked dazed. It was strange that he wasn’t crying… and I was immediately concerned he was having a febrile seizure again. (This happened almost exactly one year ago) He’s not okay! I said to the nurse and she looked at me like I was out of my mind, scary, over-protective weirdo mom. He just fell and was looking for you… she said, just short of rolling her eyes.
And then he came out of it, and was fine, so I let it go, silently admonishing myself for being too reactive.
After my appointment Ben was delighted to get out of there. He ran down the hallway gleefully to the elevator and I scooped him up and we got in. He even pushed the button for the parking garage. Suddenly, I felt Ben leap out of my arms. I grabbed him to hold him close and just like in the movies, his trains flew in the air in a slow motion hurtle toward the metal doors. He started convulsing violently in my arms. His eyes were fluttering and he was shaking all over. When the doors to the elevator opened, I held him and ran, trying not to cry, saying to him over and over, I got you baby. You’re going to be okay. I got you. I got you, You’re okay.
Now here is the proof that I have angels watching out for me.
When Ben started convulsing we were 100 feet from the doors to the emergency room. My doctor’s office happens to be across the street from the entrance. I ran as fast as I could, somehow found some back door and handed him to the first doctors I saw. He’s having a seizure! I pleaded… And before I knew it there were five doctors around him, giving him oxygen, putting in an IV, sticking monitors on him, the works.
There was a receptionist in the room trying to get my information down, his name, our insurance, etc. and I had to write everything down because I couldn’t form the words, and even though I was only a few feet from Ben, I felt such a strong pull to him, to touch him, it was almost unbearable to be across the room, his bare little body still convulsing on the table. Those 2 or 3 minutes that he was seizing were the longest minutes of my life.
And then suddenly, he was calm. His pale little body, tubes all over, fever of 103, cold rags on his forehead… he was okay. We stayed for a couple more hours to be sure that his fever went down, and eventually, his crabbiness assured me he was feeling better. He tried to pull off the monitors, wanted to GET DOWN, and was delighted to be offered apple juice that wasn’t diluted like at home. Score! They even gave him a teddy bear which went over famously.
As we walked out of the hospital Ben and I had this conversation:
Ben: Dat was fun.
Me: Oh Ben, that wasn’t fun. Do you know what fun means?
Ben: (silence)
Me: Okay, maybe it was fun.
Ben: Dat was fun.
Then, as I set him in the carseat, I said, You know, mama was scared. Then he looked me in the eyes, Ben scared.
Yeah, we were both scared.
Ben fell asleep immediately when we got home. And me, I was shell-shocked, felt the experience on such a visceral level that I had to tell the story over and over to let it out. I called Matt who was out of town, I told it to the neighbors, I called friends, I cried and cried.
And now I tell it here, in hopes that this will be the last little pressure valve. Thanks for listening everybody.
P.S. When Ben woke up the next morning there were no signs of pink eye at all. It’s as if the pink eye thing was all a ruse and the universe was just arranging for us to be at the doors of the ER at exactly the right moment. I am still amazed by this.
P.S.S. Ben is feeling good… we just might have to go through this at regular intervals until he is 5 years old, which feels like an eternity right now. We also might have to go through a battery of tests. Parenthood is not for the faint of heart, is it?
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So so glad to hear he’s feeling better. Very scary! You’re both in my thoughts.
I am very glad to know that your son is ok. I will say a prayer, that everything goes well for your family.
wow. I am so glad Ben is ok. I can not image how scary that must have been. I am equally amazed at how the universe put you in the right place at the right time.
I would also like to propose that people put some kind of “you should apply water-proof mascara before reading this” warnings on certain posts. How many times does the mailman need to come in here and see me like this?
Parenting isn’t for weaklings – hang in there.
I am hoping you are taking very good care of yourself. I am happy that Ben is doing better. Do something kind for yourself today. You are in my thoughts.
susan
I am hoping you are taking very good care of yourself. I am happy that Ben is doing better. Do something kind for yourself today. You are in my thoughts.
susan
Oh, Andrea– sigh. So glad he’s better and that you were at the right place at the right time.
Sending you happy thoughts and hopes of *real* fun.
Thanks for telling your story.
hormonal me sat here weeping as i read this story. yes, some stories do need to be told and retold.
i’m glad your boy is feeling better.
I have shared with you before about these seizures. My daughter had one a year until she was about five. Even though I knew what to expect, I always, always, felt drained, scared and hopeless during the seizure. She is 18 now, I can remember telling the stories over and over, to try and release them. She is 18 now, getting ready to head to university in the fall. I still remember EVERY ONE. I shared with you that she hardly ever has fevers now. Well, she just had one for five days, 103 degrees for five days. I was the same kind of scared, but I am older now, mother of teenagers. I was more calm, but still scared. I relished in caring for her, I saw it as a gift. An intimate gift of motherhood for my once baby, now adult. Blessings on you and Ben and may you grow strong from these challenging moments of mothering. Blessings.
I’m so glad he’s okay and even thought it was “fun”… and could admit he was scared. You were most definitely in the right place at the right time. Thank goodness.
Ah, Andrea –
I know that fear, that shell shock, that need to tell the story again and again. Thank you for sharing.
I’ve often felt that I understood that parenthood wasn’t going to be easy, but I never knew how SCARY it would be.
Be well, superhero.
xo
Oh my, tears here as well. I’m so glad y’all were in the right place at this terrible time. That picture breaks my heart, too. Hope you’re both doing better.
wow, what an experience! so glad to hear that your little superhero is feeling better. from one mom to another, just had to send you both a big healing hug. xo
wow, what an experience! so glad to hear that your little superhero is feeling better. from one mom to another, just had to send you both a big healing hug. xo
wow, what an experience! so glad to hear that your little superhero is feeling better. from one mom to another, just had to send you both a big healing hug. xo
Oh Andrea – so so glad that sweet little Ben is okay. Your story brought me to tears, as I have my own sweet little boy. And as you know – once you’re a mommy, every child feels like your own.
Thank you so much for sharing your story – I hope it brings you some healing and please know that it made me feel less alone in some of my own mothering moments. The openness and honesty you have shared in your blog so many times has been a gift to me.
I’m glad you felt compelled to tell your story. I had tears in my eyes as I read it. As an expecting mother I am only starting to realize all the emotions parenthood encompasses. I recognize and praise you for your strength, your honesty and your trust. God bless you and your little Ben.
I’m glad you felt compelled to tell your story. I had tears in my eyes as I read it. As an expecting mother I am only starting to realize all the emotions parenthood encompasses. I recognize and praise you for your strength, your honesty and your trust. God bless you and your little Ben.
So scary. I’m glad you were right where you needed to be when it happens. Glad it’s all okay.
Wow. Just scary.
So thankful for your angels.
And thankful for little boys who think (scary!!) trips to the ER are wonderful adventures. I’ve got one sleeping in the other room right now. 🙂
Hope rest will come soon for you, too.
I am so happy to hear that Ben is okay. This post had tears streaming down my face. No, parenting is not for the faint of heart. My son is 16 months and had a stroke at birth. He had seizures when he was first born, but has been seizure free since he was 3 days old and is developing normally. There is still a good chance that he will have another seizure someday. Sometimes I find myself asking will it be today? and I envision a situation like yours. It is so terrifying when you are faced with situations like this and you feel so helpless.
My favorite part of the story is how resillant Ben is. Children are amazing. They have such an easy ability to let go and move on. If only we could learn from them.
My super hero friend, I too weeped when I read your story. I agree with Elaine, once a mama every child feels like your own, and my heart was breaking for you! Motherhood is completely terrifying sometimes. Ben is darling. We are all out here praying for you, even the ones who rarely write in.
~peace and love to you~
So true — motherhood bends and stretches you in ways you could never imagine, all the while, pulling on your heart. Thank you for sharing your experience – in many ways that is how we find and maintain strength, by sharing our stories as mothers. So glad you both are well. Take care.
Hugs Andrea. I have no idea how you felt, but I am sorry you and Ben had to go through it. But since the Universe was sink for you both, I am glad to hear it all worked out.
Certainly NOT for the faint of heart. I’m so sorry that you had to go through that. Reading your story brought tears to my eyes. So glad that you are all doing well. Hugs.
I so believe this: “Sometimes you have to tell stories over and over again until you are done with them, until they don’t have the same charge for you, until you finally feel transformed in the telling of it… ”
I really do believe that it was a divine appointment for his seizure and not for his pink eye. I love it when we’re in synch with the universe. Thank you for telling your story. I know one day, the charge won’t feel the same… and I know this is a great outlet to help that.
how absolutley terrifying, my heart is in my mouth. i am so so glad he is ok. terrifying
xxx
you *are* a superhero.
with tears in my eyes….I remembered some of our ER visits….and they are never fun {someday ben will figure this out especially if it involves stitches}
my heart and thoughts go out to you in every way possible and I want to let you know that this is just a practice run for your heart because it gets worse…. like when they get behind the wheel at 16 !!!
What a blessing that the universe conspired toward your highest good, and you were paying attention!
You’re right, parenting is not for the faint of heart!
*exhale*
was holding my breath for you as i read this. glad he is feeling better!
parenthood isn’t for the faint of heart, or faint of anything, to be sure.
You should be so proud of yourself. You did what you needed to do. You are much loved by all beings 🙂 Ben is adored… thank you for writing!! I miss hearing/seeing your voice and your thoughts about the world & your world.
Much love to you & the family. Keep having the faith.
You’re such a good mom, Andrea. A real live superhero!
Sending a little prayer up that you and Ben won’t ever have to go through something like that again.
Oh dear Andrea. You are right; the Universe wanted you to be near the hospital, the doctors, the apple juice, the teddy bear, and near to your own mothering, loving, attentive mother-soul as well as your beautiful, brave son. You did all the right things and will continue to do them. It is right and normal to be scared and to get help when you need it. You did it, A, you did it. Know that it is always okay to tell your stories over and over and that you always have attentive and loving listeners here and all around the world. Peace to you.
On a totally different topic: I saw Oprah today with Karen W on it. She looked amazing in two different shots with two different SUPERHERO NECKLACES on – for the whole world to see! Yeah for her and for you!!!
Superhero, indeed.
No, parenthood is not for the faint of heart. It requires guts and courage and the ability to deal with whatever is thrown up in your face. Scary, but I am glad it’s over for this time and the little man is ok. Hugs to both of you.
I have that intense tingling at the top of my head, where the angels tend to land. I feel them. Keep telling the story and kissing your boy all over.
Reading your story brought huge mommy tears to my eyes- in empathy for you and Ben and from knowing so well what you mean about the re-telling of a story to difuse its power. I’m so glad it all turned out ok for you.
No, your right, parenting is not for the faint of heart. But you get stronger as they get older. It’s no less scary, but somehow you manage. Ben’s lucky to have you. Glad you are both okay.
Oh man, that sucks!!! It really makes you realize that it all works out – you are absolutely right about all that! I think all parents have a fright like that every once in a while….like the 105 degree fever I had when I was a small child, or the time I fell off the slide at the playground. Neither is something I remember, and I’m sure Ben won’t remember this either.
I’m so glad that you both came through the whole experience OK–and that you live in a place where your doctor and the hospital are so close together! I will think strong and calm thoughts your way.
Dear Andrea,
I held my breath through your entry today until I read that Ben was okay. It is just awful seeing our children hurt or suffer – I think that is hands down the hardest part of parenting. I just had to take our 2-year-old daughter to the emergency room to get sand swabbed out of her eye and her eye flushed after a sandbox incident, and my 4-year-old was there watching. The three of us also debriefed afterwards, and I am truly stunned by how resilient these little ones are. My daughter looked at me, her eyes clearing from their tears, gave a grin and said “Happy!”
My heart goes out to you and Ben for having to experience something so hard, and I will pray for you both (and Matt) as you continue to look into this.
Wishing you a warm blanket of peace,
Carole
I just spent 18 days with my 11 year old in hospital, 8 of those in PICU. I hear your fear as it echos in my own. I am so glad he’s okay, and that you are okay. Fear is the correct, right response to our kids being in danger. It’s so incapacitating at times and I felt so powerless, but when I was able to own my fear I was able to be present to Jacob. And that, as his mother is what I needed to do, and where I needed to be.
Those 18 days are some of the most precious parenting memories I have. I hated them, but I cherish them and love the intense time we had together to bond, read, play and watch more movies than I ever thought possible 😀
Praying for you all.
Parenting is not for the faint hearted – I agree. I’m glad Ben’s ok.
Oh sweetheart – what an ordeal – my heart is still doing a jazz samba after reading this entry. so glad to hear he’s ok. we moms have to be hard as proverbial nails sometimes to get through these crises. but all part of the rich tapestry of love and parenting. keep talking till you feel it’s all assimilated, you wonderful being. tonia
Oh gosh. Andrea, I’m so glad Ben is okay. You too. Light and love to you both.
Oh my! I am one of the many readers of your blog that you don’t know. I am so sorry you had such a terrifying experience! I do believe that our children are sent to us to teach us many things. Thank you for sharing your story!
I went through something similar a few months ago with one of our 2 1/2 year old twins. It was the middle of the night and my husband was also out of town – I’ve never been so scared in my life. A neighbor took us to the ER. The love we have for these little ones if so much more than I ever could have comprehended before becoming a mom.
So sorry that you had to go through this. I read it twice and got emotional both times thinking about your fear, pain and the mother-son bond, and what I would have been like if it happened to my son. I am so glad to hear that Ben is better, and I hope that with all of us reading this, we diffuse some of the ‘charge’ that you mention, and it makes it more of a bearable memory for you.
Wow, you are one strong woman. I am crying mommy tears thinking about how that must have felt for you.
It certainly is amazing how the universe looks out for us.
xo
meg
You’ll have to forgive me if I am posting twice, but my internet crashed right as I was hitting “post”.
I just want to say that you are one strong Mama. My tears welled up with big fat mommy tears as I read that. I can only imagine being in that situation. I gave my girls each an extra hug and kiss before bed(or two. or three.) after reading your post.
The universe certainly has a wonderful way of looking out for us when we are in need.
Oh my! Wow, my heart goes out to you–what a terrifying moment! I’m so glad everything is okay.
dearest Andrea,
just commenting to say: i received & heard the story you told.
tender blessings to you & your Ben…
xo,
gem
oh my, i had tears welling up as i read your post. i have a 15 month old grandson who may have had a febrile seizure too. he has been through a round of testing. it IS all very scary.
my thoughts are with you and Ben.
i hope you’re having a better week.
Sandra
oh andrea. i’m so glad everything is ok. i’m so, so, glad. thank you for sharing your courage with us.
When you wrote that it was almost unbearable to be across the room, I could feel it.
I have a 9.5 month old baby boy, and I almost always feel like I have real, tangible love hanging out between my heart and my head, right in the spot where you pledge allegiance. It’s a magnetic force of love that makes it so completely hard to leave for work (teaching) every day; I’d imaging it’s the same force you wrote of.
Because of this, I, too, read with teary eyes. I love what Nikki said, because it is so true: “I am only starting to realize all the emotions parenthood encompasses.”
I am marveling again, as I have so many times in the past couple years, about the timing of the universe. Amazing. And you’re so right about having to retell these stories. What a scary moment that must have been.
You are so grateful and gracious and that is beautiful.
oh, so glad you just “happened” to be in the right place- no coincidences there! trust your mama instincts, ben is a very loved little boy… even when it rips you apart…
“Making the decision to have a child – it’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body.” – Elizabeth Stone
You are so grateful and gracious and that is beautiful.
You are so gracious and grateful and that is beautiful!
Healing thoughts!
glad you are both well again.
no, parenting is definitely not for the faint of heart.
our emergency room visits have been the scariest hours of my life. (our little man is super too).
oh andrea,
That must have been terrifying. I’m so glad your and ben’s angels were watching over you! I’m glad he’s ok now. You are an amazing mama. xoxo
Oh Andrea, I am so sorry for you, that you both had to go through that.
But I believe that because of all the positivity and good karma you put out to all of us, and the universe, that angels and good spirits were there to take care of you and your precious boy.
As a mom, I can feel for you and how scared you must have been.
Glad both you and Ben are feeling better.
🙂
Oh i am so happy he is ok, and that you were at the er when it happened! Thinking of you both:)
wow! tears in my eyes, as well. i love that you told him you were scared and that allowed him to say he was, too. thanks for sharing.
I’m so glad Ben is fine now. You must be fierce to be a mama. The solo mama emergency room visit we made left me wiped out. I couldn’t remember how to get to the hospital. I was shaking so badly I could barely fill out the admitting forms. Thankfully my wee boy remembers none of it now. I will never forget, the fear and the nausea that accompanied it. I’m grateful all is well.
Leaps of love???
How frightening! I’m so glad Ben’s ok!
Parenthood is certainly not for the faint of heart. Each time a beloved child is born they break off a part of your heart and make off with it, scattering into the world with pieces of you, leaving you utterly vulnerable, yearning, growing not diminishing – and spreading love, everywhere.
Much joy and health to you and Ben,
Baraka
So glad to hear that Ben is okay. Are you? It’s harder on the Mommy especially when you know that it could happen again and again…
Oh Andrea…today, I was feeling alot of emotions. After reading your post, my emotions are happy & grateful! Thank you for sharing this with all of us. You & Ben are two of my superheroes! Lots of love to all of you.
Oh Andrea…today, I was feeling alot of emotions. After reading your post, my emotions are happy & grateful! Thank you for sharing this with all of us. You & Ben are two of my superheroes! Lots of love to all of you.
Oh Andrea…today, I was feeling alot of emotions. After reading your post, my emotions are happy & grateful! Thank you for sharing this with all of us. You & Ben are two of my superheroes! Lots of love to all of you.
oh this photo itself brought tears to my eyes before i even read the story behind it. angels are watching over you my dear. i do not have any children but you are def right when you say parenting is not for the faint of heart. i can not even imagine the emotion that you must have felt in that moment and are still going through you. i am so glad that you are your little one are okay. so glad to hear that he is feeling better. i hope your nerves are calming down as well. just know that there are angels out there watching over you, protecting you, and guiding you to be in the right place at the right time. wishing your family healing, loving thoughts.
xoxo ~ Jennifer
Oh! What marvelous ways the universe works. I’m so glad you were so close to help. Sending peace and health to you both.
Oh, honey. I am so glad Ben is safe. This brought me to tears (my boy had a seizure while in the NICU and none of the nurses believed me). I’m so glad he’s safe.
xo
e
Oh, how frightening! Hugs to you both, sending good thoughts out into the Universe to keep you and Ben safe and well.
dat is scary.
there is just something
about a mama’s love.
so happy to hear he is
doing well. and big
hug for you.
What an amazing story – I really feel for you and can only imagine how difficult it would be to see your beautiful child convulsing. I’m not a mother (yet!) but I think it must be the scariest thing in the world, what was it I read somewhere once about motherhood – that it’s like living with your heart outside your chest… you are a wonderful mother and I’m so glad you listened to your gut instinct!
I just love the way the universe works sometimes, giving Ben pink eye so you would be at the hospital just at the right time. I believe in that stuff 100%! So beautiful!
Hugs to you and your family!
My heart just sunk….for you and Ben….decidedly NOT fun. I am happy that both of you are on the mend.
As I read through your story, I could feel your panic and it became my panic. My heart started racing, I became short of breath and my eyes started to well up with tears. I imagined how it would be if it was one of my three girls. Definitely not fun. Parenting is not for the faint of heart but I’m sorry that you had to deal with this one and all while your husband was out of town. I’m so glad to hear that you’re both okay. Sending a hug your way.
Oh my – I’m sitting at my desk at work trying not to cry. It’s amazing to me how you feel so intensely for other people and their children once you’ve got your own. I’m so glad Ben is OK. I’m hugging you both right now.
Ben’s a little trooper. No doubt he gets that kind of strength from his mama. You are both in my thoughts.
Ben’s a little trooper. No doubt he gets that kind of strength from his mama. You are both in my thoughts.
When people talk about “being in the right place and the right time” rarely are they talking about it in relation to a medical emergency. And yet, if there was a type of situation other than a medical emergency (especially one involving your child) when you’d want to be in that right place more, I’m hard pressed to think of it. Whether it was angels or the stars aligning or some unknown universal force or just plain luck, I’m glad for you that things fell into place just as they did.
“to the sky you raise your voice
This is your chance, you have no choice
You tell your story”
How scary! I’m so glad that he is okay now! I hope you are doing better now too.
Go on and Get it out of your system — that was so incredibly scary!!!! Your mama instinct knew something was off — thank goodness you were so close to the ER (maybe those beautiful superhero beads had some extra special mojo going on).
I’ve heard some children have a tendency for febrile seizures. My friend went through this recently w/her 14month old son…they had just left a playdate at a regional park and he began seizing on the way home, while she was driving. She had to pull over and call 911. Also last year, my sister had a febrile seizure (as an adult! – when her fever spiked) and freaked us all out. Very scary stuff!
The photo of you & Ben & his adorable face w/the monitor taped to his chest is so heartwrenching…..he is such a sweet love. Big hugs to you, Andrea. xoxo, ~ M.
i know from experience that seizures are terrifying for all involved. Maybe its a blessing to have them as a kid, as an adult, they can be humiliating. I am sending light and love your way. the more you talk about it, the better and less scary it will be for everyone. I am amazed by your instincts and by ben in general.
Oh, Andrea, Ben, Matt, Love…………
Oh, Andrea, Ben, Matt, Love…………
Oh, Andrea, Ben, Matt, Love…………
Hugs to you and Ben.
Two things:
A) You absolutely have Angels
B) I would have gone back across the street and punched the eye rolling nurse right in the nose. You are a better person than I.
Two things:
A) You absolutely have Angels
B) I would have gone back across the street and punched that eye rolling nurse right in the nose. You are a better person than I.
It’s stories like that one that truly make me believe in more than this world. Thanks Andrea.
I’m glad all is fine. You have angels. This happened so close to the help of a hospital and doctors. Now you know for sure that any fever with Ben needs to be taken seriously!!! Phewwww parenting is sooooo very bloody hard. Isn’t it? Ask me…my “boys” now both are proud owners of motorcycles…god help me :>). I told Ryan my youngest that THE best sound for me, is the sound of his motorcycle coming into the driveway.
Oh, Andrea – what an experience! So glad to hear Ben’s feeling better. And yes, angels do watch over us. Thank goodness for God’s excellent care!
No parenting is not for the faint at heart. …one day at a time… Two of my three kids have chronic medical conditions. …one day at a time is the best advice I have…
Your Superhero title is well deserved. It’s wonderful that you’re so strong and especially strong for Ben. Your family is my thoughts.
Oh my god. As a parent I can totally relate to these feelings of fear and helplessness. I am so very glad he’s okay. My little one (17 months old) has had 102 fever since Friday and now she’s on antibiotics for an ear infection but not sleeping or eating. I feel so helpless! 🙁
I come from Ben’s perspective – I have adult onset epilepsy. I will tell you that I am always tired afterwards, and I am not aware of much when it happens. As tragic as the day may have been for you, I always feel horrible for everyone that had to see me go through a seizure. He doesn’t know what he looks like and that’s why it’s fun. Hang in there, and keep those angels around. 🙂
oh andrea. oh my word, I was holding my breath the whole post. sooooo glad all is OK, and what a special little boy.
….and on a semi related but sooo much less important note but still makes me smile and think of how the universe works sometimes, I was walking out the door to leave for SXSW and the mailman walked up as I was loading the car with my necklace. I got to wear it all week and think of you.
best and xo,
aimee
so glad you both are okay. sending calm, reassuring vibes your way. much love to you and ben…and of course matt as well 🙂
Oh, honey. I am so sorry. You are an amazing, strong woman and a phenomenal mom, and I know this will all be okay. Ben is a lucky boy.
you can tell your story a thousand times, we will still be here listening xx
I love how the universe swoops in like that. So happy you’re both OK.
Oh Andrea, God works in such mysterious ways. Praying for you both.
I am so glad that Ben is okay, first and foremost. What a blessing that you listened to that mama instinct and took him to the doctor…you were in exactly the right place at the right time. Lots of love to Ben & you, too.
Andrea..sweetie…I’m so sorry both of you had to go through this. I was so upset when I realized the story you were telling was gonna turn into something, as a mother, I knew wasn’t gonna be good.
I’m SOOOO glad he’s ok.
As the mother of a child with a lifelong illness that can do her much harm, diabetes, I can empathize with you completely. The worst day of my life was and still is the day they told me her blood sugar was more than 500 and we had to rush her to Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital. No parent should ever have to feel that kind of overwhelming, total fear. I know we all will…have…do. It is absolutely the worst emotion one could ever feel in life, for sure.
So proud of how you handled it…like the superhero you are. You can always vent to us out here in blogland. We all can relate on many different levels. And, I do the SAME thing when something bad happens. My best friend killed himself a three weeks ago. I’ve called and talked to everyone I know about what happened and about him…posted a tribute to him too on the blog. And yes, it has helped me tons.
You’re never alone. Know that for sure.
{{{{{HUGE HUGS}}}}}.
xoxo!
my friend sent me the link to this post on your blog. this happened to my baby on the freeway a month ago. scariest incident of my parenting life. your post made me cry. so glad ben is okay.
nicola
http://whichname.blogspot.com/2009/03/love-17.html
Dear Andrea, I have tears streaming down my face. I am sooo very relieved that Ben is okay and I completely and 100% do believe that you and Ben were surrounded by your Angels! I ask our Angels for protection and healing all the time. You were guided to be and do what you needed to at that time! I haven’t written in a while and I felt the urge tonight to check your blog. I was so startled to read this. As the mother of a little boy who is just one month older then Ben this hits home! Being a mother, a parent is a job and a role that forever changes us in every way. Thank you so much for telling us your story and please accept hugs, love and comfort from me and my Sam (whose middle name is Ben) to you and your little Ben. xoxo -L
I cried reading your expirience. I send you lots of good prayers and light. You are a great mommy…Gloria
I cried reading your expirience. I send you lots of good prayers and light. You are a great mommy…Gloria
I cried reading your expirience. I send you lots of good prayers and light. You are a great mommy…Gloria
I cried reading your expirience. I send you lots of good prayers and light. You are a great mommy…Gloria
oh gosh, your experience made my heart jump. so traumatic and so lucky that you were in the right place at the right time!
Oh Andrea! I feel like I’ve been socked in the heart, and I know that’s nothing compared to what you went through. THANK YOU for sharing this story, and I’m SO glad that Ben is okay! You are one strong mamma, and he is one strong, strong little boy. Big heart love & energy to you all.
Andrea – I still get clammy when I think about my two year old in the ER for stiches and she is now 15! Parents totally understand the need to tell the story over and over again. Parenting is HARD (and I don’t care what anyone says – it is!)
Totally thinking about you guys…
So glad you were where you needed to be and that your baby is ok.
Much, much, MUCH love to you and your family!!
So glad he is alright. The world works in mysterious ways like putting you in the right place at the right time when something bad is going to happen. You must have been so frightened, but even though I am not a Mom yet, I feel that giving birth must somehow give you nerves of steel to manage these kinds of situations.
I wish you all the luck in the world. You truly are a good mum. Take care.
No, motherhood is not for the faint of heart – that’s why you are such a SUPERHERO. Seriously, I am scared for you – I know that was intense. But you seem to have handled it with grace and intuition.
Wow, that’s scary. Glad to hear that everything is okay now. Hope you guys are having a happy passover.
Oh, Andrea, I’m so glad that the universe conspired to make sure you were right where you needed to be when Ben needed it most. So glad that Ben is okay for now, but will be thinking of you as you find out what this means for you and Ben now and in the coming years. Lots of love.
Andrea, first I am so glad that your son is ok. I only want to comment on that feeling that you had, at the doctor’s office, when Ben wasn’t acting right. You sounded just like me, doubting your “inner voice”. I too have done it many times. I am a mother of 3, one of whom has asthma and another condition related to his breathing. I have that inner voice, and I have learned to listen to it, even when I double and triple doubt it and even when others think I am wrong.
I encourage you to stay strong and just follow that voice…it is there for a reason only mothers know. It doesn’t matter if sometimes the voice is wrong. I have found that usually, the voice is right. Again, I am glad your son is feeling better.
oh andrea – my eyes are full of tears and my heart is pounding!
parenthood is not for the faint of heart, but you have a strong one. i can feel it from here.
hugs to you & little ben.
oh honey, as i read this my heart was pounding loudly in my chest and i noticed i was holding my breath as i read.
*exhale*
i am so relieved you are all home and okay.
i am off to go snuggle with my own sleeping baby now.
xo
oh wow, andrea, i just cried and cried reading this. so glad he is okay and you, that you’re getting there. yes, the telling. for me, it is also always in the telling, and that acknowledgment here meant a lot to me today. thank you.
I know just what you mean. I always seem to *know* just what you mean. These are the stories of motherhood In The Trenches – we each have them and they bind us together.
In the meantime, I’ll say a little prayer that Ben is okay and that you stay strong (though I know you will).
oh goodness andrea. that story send shivers down my spine. i have been there (thankfully only once) with my own child and there is NOTHING more terrifying.
so glad he’s back to his hilarious self. : )
blessings. let us all count our blessings.
i cannot imagine the strength that was surging through your mama-self. my heart was in my throat as i read this…my son napping in the next room.
tears, now.
and, no. parenthood is NOT for the faint of heart. but it sure does keep our hearts full, yes?
Dearest Andrea,
I certainly understand how you felt. I worked in the neonatal intensive care unit prior to having my son Jeremy. He was born a bit premature and his lung ruptured at his first breath. He was born in a community hospital and the pediatrician didn’t recognize that my son was in trouble. Luckily the nurse did a sneak blood gas and found that he was not oxygenating well. She arranged for my son to be transfered into MA General. She saved his life. He’s now 28 years old and will graduate from medical school in May. He wants to become a pediatric surgeon. Yes I believe in angels.
Continue to be the alert concerned mom that you are and you will both pull through this. You are a wonderful mom, you are his angel. My heart is with you.
followed a link and another and stumbled upon your blog, scrolled a bit, then stumbled upon this entry. seemingly random but likely not.
my daughter had her first febrile seizure at two (at the end of 2007), and i nearly lost my mind. i’ve never felt such intensely frantic fearfulness. she had another a few months later. i prayed like i never have before in my life.
i feared this winter, with likely illnesses, fevers, and seizures but it’s april, and she has had illness and fever but thankfully no seizures. i’m believing it’s the praying but i know the action and response is different for everyone. there are just some things i don’t understand.
but i am rambling. just wanted to let you know i understand. i have told my story over and over again, and it’s a reminder to keep praying for my little being. parenting is definitely not for the faint.
thanks for sharing your story.
So glad that you were able to get care so quickly! Seizures are scary to watch!
My son had 2 febrile seizures as a child, one at 18 months and one at 24 months. Both were scary for me to watch. His body didn’t respond well to fevers – he never felt hot to the touch on any exposed parts of his body like his forehead but would be very hot underneath his clothes.
After the second seizure, we no longer let a fever run its course like we would do with his sisters. Motrin was the only medication that would bring a fever down. I hoarded it until it became OTC.
My son will be 16 next month.
I’m so glad Ben is okay. And there is a part of me that finds comfort in that he that “dat was fun” first and scary second. I can’t imagine being a mother and what you all have to go through on a daily basis for the rest of your lives.
But I also have to say the opening line of your post spoke to me in a totally different way.. “Sometimes you have to tell stories over and over again until you are done with them, until they don’t have the same charge for you, until you finally feel transformed in the telling of it, she told me.” Sometimes I stop telling the stories that conflict me so much because I want to be over it, but perhaps its in the telling and retelling that I can finally let go.
you and ben are brave and beautiful warriors.
thank you so much for sharing your story…
i’m so glad he is doing better, even though i’m certain your healing will take some time.
sending you love and hugs,
xoxoxo
This made me cry. I’m sorry you had to go through that again! I’m so glad he’s okay. Prayers to you and Ben. And you’re right, parenthood is not for the faint of heart.
i always come here to be entertained and today i was mesmerized. i am glad Ben and you are better. dis Was fun!
what a poor grammar 🙂
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