Feeling held*

fortune_three_months_good_things.jpg
serendipitous fortune, Canon Digital Rebel XSi

For all the ways I am excited about this new baby arriving, I am terrified in a myriad of other ways. Will he be healthy? How will the birth go? What will this do to my nearly 40 year old body? Do I have it in me to not sleep through the night for another three years? Will we be able to pull this off financially? Will I have the time and resources to run my business? These are only some of the things that keep me up at night.

In the midst of a particularly low day yesterday (this pregnancy has been super emotional, with very tender lows and lots of tears) I prayed and prayed for angels to come in and help me out, give me clarity, help me think the right thoughts, assure me that I am loved.

And nothing happened.

Until today.

While on errands this morning, as I scrounged around for spare change in my purse to feed a parking meter, I found this fortune (pictured above) instead. “Remember three months from this date. Good things are in store for you.”

I pulled out my phone at looked at today’s date: July 29th.

My due date is October 29th, exactly three months from today.

(I have no idea how this fortune landed in my purse.)

Tears sprang to my eyes. Okay, universe, angels, god, whoever you are. I understand. You’ve got me. And that’s all I need to know…

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Hi, I’m Andrea

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82 Comments

  1. jill

    Wow… I LOVE when things like that happen!! And ps, You’re going to be and do GREAT!

  2. Honey

    Sigh…ain’t the Universe grand?!

  3. Stephanie

    Wow. I got chills reading that. 🙂

  4. Puanani

    Yippee!

  5. Megan

    And…AND! I’ve been having a tough time, and just right now, I clicked on a mysterious link that I didn’t recognize on my work computer’s toolbar…and it led me to this post. I have no idea how that link got on my toolbar. Even before I read what you had to write, I stared at that photo…thank you!

  6. Dreaming Bear

    That is so friggin’ amazing!!!

  7. cjm

    That’s awesome! I’m very excited for the next 3 months for you and the next 6 for me. I’m 15 weeks on Saturday. First baby! Yea!

  8. linda

    I love this.

  9. Mary

    I just got chills.
    You just needed that gentle nudge and reminder that it will be alright, it all will.
    Let go of that worry for now…you won’t know how it will unfold until you are on the other side. And once you’re there, that is when you will figure it all out.
    And you will!

  10. jenv

    as always, you are a complete inspiration. hang in there. two is by no means easy but you will have the knowledge of ben being a baby and that will help tremendously.
    you are gonna be great!!!

  11. Anna

    Oh Andrea … that is just right for you!
    I hope you have been feeling the positive vibes I have been sending your way as well.
    I am taking a wonderful course on curanderismo (traditional Mexican healing) for the past two weeks. My mind often calls your image when I hear the healers talking about the importance of holding yourself and loving yourself — curing yourself first. You do have everything you need … and at the same time, it is perfectly ok to ask for help from whomever you want.
    Know that I am holding you all in my heart!

  12. michelle

    the world is amazing..!

  13. Catherine

    oh that gave me goosebumps. Thank you for this tender writing. You say so much in such an honest way and it helps me. It helps me. So thank you.
    I wish for you more and more of this power signs from the universe to remind you that all is well, you are on the right path and all of those questions will be answered when they need to be. Trust.

  14. elizabeth

    That’s beautiful. It can be so hard with these things and with hormone changes too! I pray that you will continue to be sustained! What a special thing to have happen 🙂

  15. Molly

    tears here too.
    Thank you for sharing your uncertainties, and your hopes here.
    I need to do more of this, but mostly what I’m reminded of reading your words is the need to directly ASK for what I need. Put it right out there, directly.

  16. Chana

    sending you sweet love
    and the sound of crickets singing on this breezy summer night

  17. katrina

    simply beautiful!

  18. Robyn

    Wow! That’s freaky! Gotta love fortune cookies! (And chinese take-out on christmas eve! What else is a Jew to do on Xmas!?)
    I’m having a scheduled Csection this time – so I’ll know in advance when baby 3 is coming 🙂

  19. Melinda

    That gave me GOOSE BUMPS! You will be the exact mommy your new little one needs. What a wonderful loving warm kind tender family your new little one gets have. As a wise woman once told me when I bought a wonderful necklace or 3 from her: “You are your very own superhero.”

  20. Alexandra

    I’ve been reading your blog for years now and have no doubts you will pull off this next feat with great courage and gusto. And what an awesome and magical thing to find that in your purse! I just love when stuff like this happens!

  21. nina

    You must have a cluster of angels watching your back — sort of like a compassionate and whimsical Greek choir! Hmmm…maybe you should play the lottery numbers on the back of that fortune…;)

  22. pixiemama

    Oh, thank you, Universe, for that direct answer. 🙂
    Thinking of you and baby.
    love.

  23. Serena

    The world has a way of providing what we need most. trust in that, and follow it with your whole heart. you have been given a sign from the universe.
    it will all be ok.

  24. Joy

    That is amazing. I love it when you get exactly what you need at the moment. You are surrounded by angels who will catch you at the right time.

  25. amy Komar

    Good fortune will ALWAYS be yours sweet one *
    Holding you high in the lows : )

  26. {tinniegirl}

    You are surrounded by magic my friend, and that magic spreads it’s way to others and they become surrounded by it too.

  27. christine

    This is AMAZING!!!!

  28. sperlygirl

    andrea, i too had similar fears welling up upon the birth time of my second babe (who is now nearly 11 months). much more so than the first time around. but just as the first – right around the moment of his birth a feeling of peace washed over me. i wish the same for you. (we are close in age it seems, so i understand exactly where you are coming from!) your message from the universe is spot on – just trust. 🙂

  29. BlissMeliss

    Ok, that got me feeling a little teary…. communications from the Universe pack such a powerful emotional feeling of embrace and care. I hope this feeling of connection and care stays with you and supports you in those lower moments.

  30. amy

    My boys are 13 months apart and I remember being terrified the last month of the pregnancy…will we have enough time, money, patience, stamina….and love for another child? I was so afraid of never loving another being as much as I adored our first, perfeect child. And then amazing creature #2 burst into our lives and I was in awe of my love for him. There is nothing more precious then seeing your children interact…it makes me breathless 10 years later! Enjoy! And I promise, the second child (and second parenting, birth, etc) is much more flexible and relaxed. Enjoy!

  31. lene

    My birthday is the 29th of october 🙂 I will be honoured to share this day with your baby 🙂
    Also, i love the way you make me trust in the magic of this world! Thank you!!

  32. melissa

    magic. for me also because july 29th is my birthday. blessings on so many levels. wishing you ease and beauty on your sacred journey.

  33. Denise A.

    That fortune is a miracle! What a great message from the universe about your new baby boy and his entrance into the world. 🙂

  34. Lu

    He always did have you…

  35. Pia Mendoza

    Faith and love. Praying for you and your family!
    All the best!
    Pia,
    Manila, Philippines

  36. Wanda

    Oh. Wow. That is wonderful confirmation of being held and loved. So glad you received what you were needing.

  37. Jeanne

    Love and hugs and many blessings
    Babies are bits of stardust handblown from God’s own hands.
    Love and joy?

  38. Victoria Winters

    LOVE this post. As you know, I’m terrified to even make the decision to have a 2nd. So to see you doing it and having the same fears as me, yet being reassured by the Universe that it’s going to be good? That’s really uplifting.
    Peace and hugs!
    VW

  39. Jeannine

    I love moments like this. You know the universe will always give you exactly what you need.

  40. Jeannine

    I love moments like this. You know the universe will always give you exactly what you need.

  41. celisa

    amazing!!! life baffles me sometimes.

  42. RookieMom Whitney

    I’ve been thinking about you, friend. You gave me the gift of assuming that there will always be an abundance of creativity. I refer to that thought every day.
    I know that what you’re facing is different. There is not a bottomless pit of hours in the day. I understand why you are anxious. I think you will learn to be flexible and adjust your expectations. Maybe this boy will be a sleeper!
    PS J’s bday is 10/29. He will be thrilled to learn of Ben’s baby’s expected arrival date.
    Hope to see you soon!

  43. Suki

    Perfect timing! It will all go well.

  44. kerilyn

    Wow… amazing. Thank You for sharing and reminding us that we are never REALLY alone – no matter how we ourselves feel!!!

  45. mary catherine

    beautiful! magic! hope you found some peace in that moment…good wishes for all the months ahead!

  46. Christa

    I’m getting married in 13 days. I’m a little terrified when it comes to the practical things, since we’re both still finishing up schooling, and I really related to and felt your concerns. Thank you for sharing, so much. I believe there is a God who loves us and gives us enough hints to trust. And whatever you call it, universe or angels, is beautiful and is you. Thank you for helping to inspire hope and confidence in me. Your answer has become part of mine.

  47. Patricia

    good morning Andrea, There is no doubt that the arrival of a child is a hugely significant gift/event. Your trepidation is appropriate and also the sign that all will go well. You have learned to listen to your body and create the time and space needed for rest, play, exploration. You have created a supportive community of family and friends and know how to ask for help when you need it. Most importantly, you are not afraid to love and you have plenty of that to share. Will you be tired, will the transition be a bit bumpy, will emotions run high and deep? Yes to all of those questions. But life is messy and full; to live it well requires opening up to all of its gifts and challenges. All of the other pieces will fall into place around your newly redefined family unit. I send love, support and respect.

  48. Cath

    The chills keep comin’… yep, another perfect post.
    Now breathe deeply and with new, fresh, hugely hopeful air.

  49. Anali

    I love hearing stories like this! Thank you for sharing this and I’m so happy that you received it.

  50. Lisa

    Love your post’s title: Feeling held. A WONDERFUL moment. You need to frame that piece of paper for sure. Thank you for sharing.

  51. rachael

    i know that you know…deep down in the wisest and most sacred parts of you…that you most definitely have enough, are enough, and will be enough…through it all and despite your worries and doubts. you’re meant for this. all of this. we’re looking out for you.

  52. Bryna Andressen

    This is lovely. Thank you for sharing this story.

  53. Mariella

    wow…freaky and fantastic!!!
    Thanks for sharing your story….I have been having the very same kind of fears (I am nearly 14 wks along). Every little thing is going to be alright. 🙂 xoxo, ~ M.

  54. mccabe

    not surprising
    but totally charming.
    magic.
    xxx

  55. Kristen Fischer

    how powerful, Andrea! the universe really DOES ANSWER!! i know you will pull it all off!

  56. Sunny

    I totally understand how you have been feeling. I was so thankful when Elijah finally came and was healthy. Now we are in the middle of sleep problems, tummy troubles, etc. Certain times of the day and night, I am filled with such joy and anticipation.
    Can’t wait to meet him and see you guys!
    Love and prayers coming your way!

  57. amy z

    Fantastic! Utterly, undeniably, cosmically fantastic.

  58. verdemama

    Just… wow.

  59. megan

    Truly beautiful!

  60. Jenna

    Yes. Wow, chills, amazing.

  61. Anja

    I’m having the same anxieties about my second pregnancy… 20 weeks now, not all that far behind you! It’s such a relief to hear about not only your doubts but those of your other commenters as well. I need some reassuring, too, apparently. 🙂

  62. jakki

    they always answer…just ask.

  63. juliette crane

    wow. that is pretty incredible for a sign. you can’t get much clearer 🙂 thanks for sharing that. it really makes my heart dance!
    xo, juliette

  64. Amy Jo

    Wonderful. I’m glad you got the message.

  65. christine

    That gave me the chills!

  66. emily

    I LOVE it! Grace…just when we need it the most.

  67. 6512 and growing

    *chills*
    Blessings on your three month homestretch

  68. kristy

    I’m crying!

  69. Kathleen

    I truly believe in signs…this is yours…I have been praying for angels to…bless you and your family…everything will be well and miraculous and at should be….
    hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  70. Paige

    I had crippling post partum depression with my daughter. 4 years later, I gave birth to my son and I had a lot of the same fears you do now. Where my daughter was easy and a good sleeper, he was colicky and a terrible sleeper. And guess what? It was still SOOOOO much easier than the first time. Something about the second time just IS easier. I got my body back with work (I am a size 4-6). It took a little longer, but he is almost 2 and everything is back in place. And I bet you will get your good sleeper this go round. There is one in every crowd 🙂 You will see, they will be brothers and you will love them both so much that you can’t breathe.. and you will not BELIEVE how different 2 little people from the same parents can be. It’s so glorious. I am excited for you.

  71. Annie Lewis

    Some days it is hard to see, but yes, the universe always works and brings us what we need. What a great gift, right when you needed it.
    xo a-

  72. Julia

    So…amazing how sometimes the message comes just when you most need to recieve it!
    Your story brought tears to my eyes and warmth to my heart.
    🙂
    Thanks for sharing.
    Blessings to you and your family

  73. Anna

    Amazing!!! Goosebumps, tears, and gratitude~

  74. Cindy

    the universe always answers when we are listening…i love this…and am glad for you!

  75. Stacy (Mama-Om)

    thank you, universe. 🙂
    Love,
    Stacy

  76. kim

    lovely!

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