self-portrait

self_skirt.jpg
favorite skirt, Nikon Coolpix 4500

I am getting ready to make the leap. I am on the precipice. I hear the siren song of the digital SLR and it makes me weak. I want this camera so badly I itch in the soul of my being. I am my 10-year-old self and it is Christmas and I am longing for that bicycle, that doll, that magic set, that whatever-the-heck-it-was that I wanted so badly.

And then I remember that I am an adult and I can just stroll down to the camera shop and buy the darn thing. I don’t have to be good. I don’t have to put it on a list. I don’t have to wait until December. There is no naughty or nice.

And then I am afraid that I don’t deserve the thing, that I will choose the wrong one, that there will be a better one in less than a year, that it will break, that it will be dropped on the cement and it will break and it will be my fault.

I am regressing.

I want this camera, and I regress when I want something big and expensive.

I am going to buy this camera dammit.

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Hi, I’m Andrea

On this blog you’ll be learning with me how to use our voices, share our creative superpowers and live life in full color.

As an artist, photographer, life coach + mentor, I’m redefining what it means to be a SUPERHERO — ‘cause in my world, it’s got nothing to do with capes, spandex or sidekicks and everything to do with tenderness, intuition & baby steps of bravery.

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26 Comments

  1. Marina Parascenzo-Brush

    Buy the camera! Buy the camera, girl!
    I went through the same mental gymnastics before buying the perfect camera and printer last month. They have changed the way I see the world–you can’t put a price on that. I’ll look forward to seeing the photos here!
    Marina Parascenzo-Brush
    Magpie Books
    Seattle

  2. erika

    Buy it! I am just like you!! I want a Canon 10-D SO FRIGGIN BAD IT HURTS. And yes there will be something bigger and badder soon, yes, yes, yes. But who cares? You’re never going to buy at the “right” time in that respect, so just go for it.
    Now why haven’t I bought mine? O yea, I have no money for that but it will be mine. :::mr. burns evil laugh:::
    p.s. – i love your skirt 🙂

  3. heidi

    you must conquer the fear or giving to yourself.
    each time my husband, son and i return from a particularly peaceful vacation, i await the karmic other shoe dropping–will someone dear to us fall ill? will my refrigerator konk out and need to be replaced? will a hole open up in the world and suck me into the nether regions? i can’t believe karma is that cruel, but sometimes it is.
    worry though is a disease. worry robs us of our time and keeps us from the things we love (whether they be a new digital camera, a vacation, a new dress, or a walk in the wilderness). stuff that may happen in the future is out of our control.
    buy the camera…buy it just because you want it…a personal statement of confidence in karma and an action that declares you are not afraid of what fate and the future has in store for you.

  4. andrea

    heidi,
    You just totally nailed it on the head.
    I really needed to hear that.
    thank you thank you
    andrea

  5. christine

    You deserve it!
    And that skirt is gorgeous. (You are.)

  6. Donavan

    Permission Slip For Andrea Scher To Buy A Digital SLR With As Many Acceseories As She Wants…
    —-This Slip Hereby Grants Andrea Full Permission To Guiltlessly Obtain A Shiny New Digital Wondercamera—-
    Buy the camera, take lots of beautiful pictures, and realize that in the world of digital, there will ALWAYS be something cheaper and better right around the corner. Believe me. As a trend watching, gadget obsessed, overspending, technology infused geek photographer who worked all last year in a camera store, I know these things. There will always be something newer, cheaper, cooler, better…and it will often hit the market the day after you spend your hard earned cash….Aaaaargghhhh!!!
    No matter, buy the camera anyway. Digital has gotten so stunningly good, and very affordable to boot.
    Anyway, what matters is what you do with what you got. In your capable hands and with your magic finding eyes, I have a full tank of faith that you will take that uber-cool camera out on the town and amaze us daily. You already do.
    By the way, I ALWAYS feel like that itchy 10 year old. Be itchy. Scratch freely. As you said, no naughty or nice. Just wonderful you with your shiny new toy.
    Just do it.
    YAY!!!!!

  7. christine

    I bought the Canon Digital Rebel 300D last week after many weeks of hemming and hawing and finding every reason why I didn’t deserve such a beautiful piece of equipment, but I finally just did and it’s lovely and wonderful and just so great.
    Which one are you looking at? The 300D or the 10-D? Or one of the Nikons?

  8. andrea

    You guys rock.
    thank you.
    can you crawl into my head and became the new alpha voice and eradicate the evil ones?

  9. fern

    YEA!!!..and I’m gonna go buy myself that Swifter Mop I’ve been fondling at Wal Mart!…

  10. andrea

    dreaming of the digital rebel!

  11. jenn

    When did we all start thinking we can’t give to ourselves? I know that I find myself having serious byers remorse when I spend on myself and it wasn’t a necessity buy. I can’t pin point when that started. We need to be able to be comefortable giving to ourselves just as much as we are about giving to others. Remember that we have to take care of us before we can take care of others. Sometimes that looks like giving ourselves what we want, not just what we need. We should start a go out and get yourself something good day. I’m talking good too, not something small and cheap!

  12. pt*:)

    Hell! Buy the camera! RUN! Life is too short to rob yourself of the joy! It’s not like it will be a museum piece, eh?!*:) Think of all the fun you’ll have!

  13. Samantha

    Well, now you’ve REALLY done it lady. I’ve recently started my own online journal (inspired by people like you!) and in the past few days I’ve given thought to upgrading my digital camera (I’m currently using the Canon PowerShot A40)…but I am completely in the dark about what these fancy new cameras can do (maybe they’re not so new? I feel like my mum who is confused by “all the buttons” on her microwave)…so after reading your post, I did a little research on these cameras and am totally amazed. So amazed that I have decided to do something completely ridiculous and buy the Rebel.
    On the credit card.
    My husband’s.
    (Just kidding. We share it.)
    So, thanks for the inspiration. I know I’ll do great things with it.

  14. chris

    Yes, yes, been there…..just got done buying the $326.00 eyeglass frames. Life is short. Cameras are a life NECESSITY, in my world. Ditch the old, get the new and use the cash you make selling the old to pay off the new.

  15. shelly

    Buy It! I have been so inspired by your Superhero life style!!

  16. Stephanie

    Buy it, Buy it, Buy it! I want one too!
    Then you can tell me all about it and I will be inspired to take the leap also!
    Stephanie

  17. delphina

    thank you heidi for your comments!!

  18. Kirsty

    Ah, but it’s not a treat, it’s A Very Important Tool That You Can’t Make Your Art Properly Without!
    At least that’s what I always tell myself in these situations, although being an impoverished artist I also hum and haw over things for months. It sounds as if you’ve done your research and aren’t just impulse buying, which is good. I say if your soul is hankering for it and you feel that you’ve reached the limit of your current equipment then buy it.
    Yes, there will always be another camera along in 6 months that has more pixels and is cheaper, but that is always going to be the case, the digital camera market is moving so quickly right now that that is unavoidable. Sooner or later you just have to take that leap.

  19. jill

    “Love means never having to say you’re sorry…”
    Your skirt reminds me of the Radcliffe girl, Jennifer Cavalieri in Love Story. Oh, how I loved that book and the movie even more!
    Don’t be sorry… Just go and buy yourself that camera! Make Oliver Barrett proud…

  20. kim

    omg. i have been wrestling with my decision to buy my digital rebel for the last couple days… and so accidentally stumbled upon your site! i suppose it’s not an unusual predicament.
    i’m going to make the jump. now.
    thank you!

  21. Julia

    Run!! Don’t walk and buy that camera. You are such an awesome artist…and an artist that needs new way to express herself. Indulge! Enjoy! and be guilt free! I can’t wait to se the new photos you produce with it. Oh…by the way….I love your colorful,funky skirt.

  22. french toast girl

    Do it! Do it! Do it!
    Do you want me to get my magic wand and give you permission? I have one, and I’ll do it if you want. 🙂

  23. susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy

    please add my abundant support, permission and cheerleading to the camera purchase
    new camera=new pictures
    new pictures=new art in this world- which it dearly needs
    and which we will all heartily enjoy! which will infuse us with JOY
    besides all that, the itch is your soul sending you on a holy art mission
    GO
    BUY
    CREATE
    Love, Susan

  24. m

    YES! Buy your camera Andrea and I’ll promise to renew my passport and buy my ticket to Australia!

  25. jenn

    i’m uprooting my whole life in a few days — moving into a bed and breakfast to be a house manager/housekeeper, a job which i know very little about (including hours, what i have to do, etc.) — but i’m trying to have faith that this adventure is the right thing for me. i’m so scared/terrified/worried– but so excited at the same time. your writings have inspired me to leave a job i despise and try something new, even if it’s not a “certain thing.” i just thought you should know how bright your light shines and how much you inspire those around you, even those you don’t really know.

  26. mary

    Ok I did it Phew!
    I bought my ticket to OZ this morning!
    mary

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