Ben walkin, Chrissy Field, SF, Canon Elph SD1000

no hands, Chrissy Field, SF, Canon Elph SD1000

I am working on getting a good video of Ben doing his drunken sailor impression. His first wobbly steps are so exciting! It’s amazing to see how much he improves each day.

I am entering a whole new phase of being in love with this little guy. I fall harder for him every day…I am smitten. It doesn’t help that he does ridiculously adorable things like makes dog sounds in spanish when he sees a pup, “guau guau!” (sounds like wow wow) or talks in his sleep and says, “uh oh… uh oh…”

After a year of Ben, I feel like I am arriving home from a long trip. I feel like I disappeared from my life, from friends, from myself, from the world. Not bad, just went on a long journey to a brand new country and instead of coming home to the place I thought I left, I see that it is all different. I am now rearranging the furniture, hanging the drapes and making it home again.

There is some sadness in letting go of what used to be and a joy in loving what is new/now. I suppose it was an illusion to think that things weren’t always changing all the time. It was just never so obvious until now.

Like I said before, I love the metaphor of the new year and starting fresh. Ben is walking now, (well, wobbling now) and that is how I enter the new year with him: Teetering across the floor, gaining new ground every day, feeling proud of each new step, and falling over and saying, “uh oh” in my sleep.