paint chips, Ace Hardware, Berkeley, CA, Canon Rebel Xti

I realize that I’ve been waiting to post, for that exact right moment when I’m not feeling fragmented and distracted. That moment when I’m not simultaneously checking my email, packaging an order, and wondering if we’re too late to apply for preschools or if Ben needs therapy for his chewing issues. And speaking of food, do we have any food in the fridge? and oh yeah, I should probably brush my teeth today. Maybe after one more espresso.

What was I talking about? Oh yeah, fragments.

My life is a little chopped up at the moment. My phone calls are all in little slices (call you back, Ben just had a poo!) my work is fragmented throughout the day between naps. My sleep is still fragmented by trips to Ben’s room for soothing or milk. Sometimes I feel like I don’t give anything my full attention, that everything and everyone gets a little bit less of me than before, but I’ve been learning to make peace with the the fragmented life.

I posted the above photo because as I look at these paint chips, I see how beautiful this cut up little landscape can be, little bits of color strung together (some you like and some you don’t) but together they make quite a stunning composition. This is the lens through which I want to see my life right now. Little bits of beauty, or hurt, or tiredness, or joy all bound together. If you stand back just a little bit you can see how it all fits together and makes something beautiful.

P.S. Matt got into a cycling accident yesterday with a German shepherd that isn’t fond of bicycles. He’s all slinged up (and hopped up on painkillers for his badly sprained arm) but I am grateful it was nothing worse. Send a few healing wishes his way. I know he’d love that.