cloud graffiiti, Puerto Rico, Canon Rebel Xti

Yesterday I was with a friend who is thinking about having kids. I found myself saying, “It’s hard!” then trying to balance that out with “I mean it’s great!” and then of course seeing how both are true. It’s that everything is cranked up so many notches. The great, the fun, the exasperating, the exhausted, the joy, the frustrating. All of it is in superdrive. It’s life to the nth power.

And as I recover from my latest childhood illness and see the spots finally begin to disappear, I am reminded of my own tendancy to superdrive it through life, do too much, and as my parents used to tell me constantly, burn the candle at both ends.

I like to think that this comes from having a passion for life, for learning, for seeing beauty and capturing it… sometimes all I see is possibilities. I want to taste it all! To be a Nia master and a yogini, to learn spanish fluently in Barcelona, to have a hugely successful jewelry business, to be a fashion photographer, to travel the world, to write books, to learn to cook like my italian friend Viola. All the while having a soulful family life, balanced and relaxed, where we read a lot, play games with Ben and take long walks in the woods.

What I really want to say is that I haven’t figured out how to have it all just yet, but I want to believe it’s possible. And for me, I suspect it’s about agreeing to having it all eventually, just not all at once. It’s like a gorgeous meal where I want to taste everything, but I know if I put everything on my plate, I won’t be able to savor each delicious bit. And so comes the picking and choosing.

I am curious what having it all would be for you. What does having it all look like in your world?