look around

look_around.jpg
good graffiti, soho, nyc, Canon Rebel Xti

Love is such a deep, rich topic and it came up a lot during my time in nyc. One thing I was reminded of is that love is not a linear process. Despite what our culture and movies and teach us, it is not a boy meets girl then lives happily ever after kind of thing. Or sometimes it is, then it changes and the real work starts, the kind that doesn’t make good tv. Real love includes all of it and if you get four ladies in a room to talk about love, you will see that no one is better off than the other or farther along on some fictional timeline. We are actually standing in a circle, growing in different ways, all learning the same things in the end: how to love ourselves and others better and better.

This happens when we are not in a relationship, when we are longing for a partner and wondering if they will ever come. This happens when we are 20 years in and wondering if we made the right choices or if we made too many mistakes. This happens when we seem to have it all and wonder if the other shoe is going to drop.

Wherever you are in love, I want to be that whisper, that antidote to the Am I doing it right? Did I blow it? Will it ever happen for me? and say, Where you are is good. Start here. It’s imperfect and it always will be. It will be fierce and ordinary and torn and mended again. We will circle back and start once more. The goal is not some happily ever after, but a happily ever now.

I think the Buddhists have it right when they say that everything, suffering and joy alike, exist only in the moment. I suspect that in every moment there is the opportunity for love. Look around. Love is there. All over.

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Hi, I’m Andrea

On this blog you’ll be learning with me how to use our voices, share our creative superpowers and live life in full color.

As an artist, photographer, life coach + mentor, I’m redefining what it means to be a SUPERHERO — ‘cause in my world, it’s got nothing to do with capes, spandex or sidekicks and everything to do with tenderness, intuition & baby steps of bravery.

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54 Comments

  1. Lea

    This is beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.
    I believe in love.

  2. Puanani

    Love is all there is…

  3. Lauren

    All You Need is Love… that song just popped into my head!
    Wonderful post… living in the moment is so important yet so difficult to do. Have you read Chasing Daylight? It talks a lot about that.

  4. Diana

    Simply beautiful and so well written! Pierced my veil of grumpiness this morning. Thank you.

  5. jag

    Oh my… this is so very profound and true! As someone who picked her husband TWICE, I know that love is a choice. One of my favourite quotes about love is from Jason Mraz:
    “It takes no time to fall in love, but it takes years to know what love is.”
    Thanks for this important reminder. xox

  6. Anne

    Thank you for this. Wisdom, perspective, authenticity, encouragement. Perfect post for today, with stupid hollow Valentine’s day just around the corner. (Maybe you can tell that I’ve been torturing myself with those anxious questions a bit too much lately.)

  7. Ani

    thank you.

  8. Anne

    Just what my heart needed to hear. Thank you!

  9. jen lemen

    love this, a.
    the happily ever now most especially.
    xo

  10. brittany

    aaah! this is exactly what i needed, right this minute. thank you, i love you!!

  11. Jen

    love.actually.is.all.around… (from the movie, Love Actually)
    🙂
    Your post brought tears to my eyes… and yes, it might be that emotional time of the month for me… you know, when the water works fall a bit easier. (wink, wink) BUT, your post was amazing. I needed a little whisper. Because without those little whispers in my life, I am a terrible worrier. I worry worry worry about all of my decisions. And, my recent decisions in love have led me to wonder some of those things. And I know it was the right decision… I am in love and happy with this next step. But, I still worry sometimes… this could be IT… **butterflies in tummy**
    Thanks for putting it out there and sending that whisper.
    Oh, and I LOVE the idea of “we are actually standing in a circle, growing in different ways.” … so true.

  12. Jen

    love.actually.is.all.around… (from the movie, Love Actually)
    🙂
    Your post brought tears to my eyes… and yes, it might be that emotional time of the month for me… you know, when the water works fall a bit easier. (wink, wink) BUT, your post was amazing. I needed a little whisper. Because without those little whispers in my life, I am a terrible worrier. I worry worry worry about all of my decisions. And, my recent decisions in love have led me to wonder some of those things. And I know it was the right decision… I am in love and happy with this next step. But, I still worry sometimes… this could be IT… **butterflies in tummy**
    Thanks for putting it out there and sending that whisper.
    Oh, and I LOVE the idea of “we are actually standing in a circle, growing in different ways.” … so true.

  13. Jen

    love.actually.is.all.around… (from the movie, Love Actually)
    🙂
    Your post brought tears to my eyes… and yes, it might be that emotional time of the month for me… you know, when the water works fall a bit easier. (wink, wink) BUT, your post was amazing. I needed a little whisper. Because without those little whispers in my life, I am a terrible worrier. I worry worry worry about all of my decisions. And, my recent decisions in love have led me to wonder some of those things. And I know it was the right decision… I am in love and happy with this next step. But, I still worry sometimes… this could be IT… **butterflies in tummy**
    Thanks for putting it out there and sending that whisper.
    Oh, and I LOVE the idea of “we are actually standing in a circle, growing in different ways.” … so true.

  14. Anna

    I want to believe…

  15. Shell

    I agree. Love is all around us. We just need to open our eyes and look. I just listened to your interview with Jamie. I enjoyed it immensely. You gave me great tips that I’m going to use.

  16. Kirsten Michelle

    thank you for this.
    in love and light, k
    xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

  17. Lindsey Alyce

    This? Your words? They are right on. They are true and perfect.
    Thank you for yourself.

  18. vivienne

    thanks lovely you.
    your whisper has me teary. exactly what i needed to hear!

  19. Steph

    Thank you for these words Andrea. I’ve chosen to give marriage another chance (with a different person!) and am sometimes afraid of the inevitable imperfection. I needed the reminder that it’s ok.
    Smiles to you,
    Stephanie

  20. catherine

    Beautifully stunning words… thank you.

  21. Amy

    yes, and thank you, andrea!

  22. amy k

    a perfectly timed whisper in my ear . . .Thank YOU*

  23. Patience

    i love this…

  24. Patience

    i love this…

  25. Patience

    i love this…

  26. Lisa

    Indeed, these emotions only exist in the moment.
    Thankfully and sadly, all at the same time.

  27. Patience

    all so true and lovely…

  28. nova

    Beuatifully put.

  29. nova

    Beautifully put.

  30. jessica

    this post is beautiful and resonates deeply with me…i try to stop myself from wondering where that shoe is…life and love is so good right now…i must just enjoy this lovely ride…happy valentines day to you andrea.

  31. chris Zydel

    What a wonderful post. And I just love the photo of the “good graffiti”. Thanks for the reminder that love is really all there is. Really!
    It’s also nice to find another creative entrepreneur in my neck of the woods.I live in Hayward and have my expressive arts studio in Oakland. And, by the way, just LOVE your jewelry!

  32. chris Zydel

    What a wonderful post. And I just love the photo of the “good graffiti”. Thanks for the reminder that love is really all there is. Really!
    It’s also nice to find another creative entrepreneur in my neck of the woods.I live in Hayward and have my expressive arts studio in Oakland. And, by the way, just LOVE your jewelry!

  33. Bek Vavic

    I **love** this Andrea.
    Thanks so much.
    As always you are inspiring and thought provoking and touching a nerve of what I feel also.
    Love
    Bxo

  34. Bek Vavic

    I **love** this Andrea.
    Thanks so much.
    As always you are inspiring and thought provoking and touching a nerve of what I feel also.
    Love
    Bxo

  35. Lunarmusings

    Just beautiful…

  36. gem

    thank you for this, dear & wise beauty*
    xo,
    gem

  37. inkling

    wow. so timely. after the most tangled-up 2 years of relationships, i’ve finally met someone amazing – and then noticed that this really is the simple bit, the rest is caring for it, and each other and ourselves. it doesn’t stop the anxieties (what if i’m wrong? what if he’s wrong? what if we take it for granted? etc…) – am i doing it wrong? thanks for the gentle voice saying ‘you’re doing fine. we’re all doing fine.’
    x

  38. Marianne

    The more I marinate in Buddhist teachings the more I wonder how I could have missed this simple truth for so long (although I suspect I understood it well as a wee child) that there is no other possible place to live (or to love) than in each moment.

  39. Jen

    andrea,
    i love, love, love your whisper antidote. it soothes me perfectly. i wrote in on a paper and hung it over my desk so that it can keep it in mind everyday.
    thank you.
    jen

  40. Dhlomdkb

    bvPqQK comment6 ,

  41. Dhlomdkb

    bvPqQK comment6 ,

  42. PDJohn

    Hey there,
    I know it’s my first post here, but I only need to ask a question..
    Does anyone know where to watch movies online for free?

  43. Cato

    Badly need your help. Fig Newton: The force required to accelerate a fig 39.37 inches per sec. Help me! Help to find sites on the: Tanning bed age limit. I found only this – 110v Tanning bed. Information about the health benefits and effects of indoor tanning. Carcinogenic to the highest cancer risk category group arcinogenic to humans. Thank :confused: Cato from Norway.

  44. wewnignenlidO

    hi, how are you? Google

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  46. if(isbanner || width < 100 || height < 100) {

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