As I was writing this piece, inspired by Brene Brown’s new DVD The Hustle for Worthiness, I couldn’t help but notice the Michael Jackson silhouette on the phone booth outside the cafe. And it got me thinking: What about the electric slide for worthiness? or the moonwalk for worthiness? These images make me giggle because it’s so true how we literally exhaust ourselves in the struggle to feel worthy (of love, of respect) or simply to feel like enough.
One friend of mine calls her first dates the “dancing bear routine” where she watches herself do that first date performance of how fabulous and witty and interesting she is. It usually works, but she comes home feeling tired out by it all and wondering why she doesn’t want to go through it again.
I think I’ve dropped a lot of my hustle over the years, feeling slightly less inclined to need other’s approval, but I still see how what I do (or don’t do) is tied up in my self-worth. Case in point, I have been staring at this blog for weeks feeling like a total blog failure, wondering what I should write about, what would be interesting, worth sharing, fabulous enough… And just the striving alone to be brilliant or fabulous will block you up every time. Pretty soon there are tumbleweeds drifting by your blog.
The irony is that all anyone really wants to read is what’s true. The truth is so much more compelling than any dance we can do and our authenticity is the greatest gift we can bring.
Brene says it beautifully here:
“Our lives are a collection of stories – truths about who we are, what we believe, what we come from, how we struggle, and how we are strong. When we can let go of what people think, and own our story, we gain access to our worthiness – the feeling that we are enough just as we are, and that we are worthy of love and belonging.
If we spend a lifetime trying to distance ourselves from the parts of our lives that don’t fit with who we think we’re supposed to be, we stand outside of our story and have to hustle for our worthiness by constantly performing, perfecting, pleasing, and proving. Our sense of worthiness lives inside of our story. It’s time to walk into our experiences and to start living and loving with our whole hearts.”
In celebration of Brene’s incredible new DVD, I am giving away a copy this week to one lucky winner!
Just proclaim in the comments, “I am enough!” (or some variation on that theme) and you’ll have a chance to win.
– You have until 8PM PST on Sunday, March 14th to enter this giveaway.
– Just make a comment ON THIS POST to enter.
– This is a random drawing
– One entry per person, please. (Just push “post” ONCE and wait a few seconds. The comment should appear)