You didn’t write down that you are fluent in dinosaur and Thomas the Train, that you can even identify most whales and Star Wars characters, that you have an entire lexicon of boy at your disposal.
You didn’t put down that you are a master of distraction. That you know how to strap a squirming, even screaming child into a carseat in seconds flat using sleight of hand and tiny fish crackers.
You know how to get a diaper changed so that no poop seeps upward, across the back. And if it already has, you know how to get those clothes down the body without any poop riding up near the baby’s face.
You didn’t put down that you have nearly bionic hearing, that you can hear a cry, a bad dream, a sudden blowout, even a seizure in the middle of the night, all the way from the living room with Jon Stewart blaring in the background.
You also didn’t mention your special skills in what they call, what is it? Distraction? The word escapes me. When you get them to pay attention to the other thing, the new thing, not the illicit, chokable or iPhone-like thing in their hand.
You have even regained your word recall, lost in a postpartum haze for a while there. Well except for that one word I can’t think of above. Transference? Deflection?
Anyway, you did not include on any resumes at all that you are a master multi-tasker, that you can simultaneously check your email, nurse a baby and toast a blueberry waffle at lightning speed.
More importantly, you have learned to listen to the big boy who can talk, to repeat his words back to him so he knows you heard him, to let him dream up crazy schemes in his treehouse, like the one involving the cardboard box, red yarn and a pulley system, and not say, This definitely won’t work and sounds kind of dangerous… but instead, let out an enthusiastic, “Let’s try!”
You have learned to take his criticisms to heart, like when you are actually not listening to him and he says, “Are you even listening to me??” and you have to stop and say, “You’re right. I’m not listening to you at all! You’ve got me now.”