I’m actually not that busy.

stop_busy_400

This is my new mantra: I’m actually not that busy.

It doesn’t sound spiritual or like something you heard at your yoga class. It might not even feel true the first few times you say it! But it’s changing my life.

My aha moment came when I saw this graphic above on Facebook. Moments later I heard Brene Brown talk about how we glorify our busy lives, how we actually think that if we’re not busy our lives are less important or have less value. It’s subtle, but always saying we are busy is another way we reinforce our not-enoughness.

When people ask you how you’re doing, do you do what I do? Do you say, “Oh fine, crazy, busy as ever!” or “Really good… super busy!”

But what is busy really? but something we tell ourselves.

I practiced it this morning when I dropped off Nico at school. As I signed him out, I heard that familiar refrain, Okay sister, you better get going now and get to your desk… But then I stopped myself and said, I’m actually not that busy! and let myself stay a few extra minutes building a tower of blocks with him.

It was just a few more minutes but it felt spacious, like I got to decide that I have time for everything. I felt myself writing a new story: that there is enough time for what’s most important in my life.

If you see it all as part of the creative process (and I do) — the daydreams, the walks, the lying on the couch, the spontaneous lunch with a friend — it starts to make sense. My best work is done this way– not when I am pinched and constricted but expansive and present.

So yeah, the more I say it, the more it feels true. I’m not that busy people! and it’s awesome.

Will you try this with me?

The next time someone asks you how you are, I dare you to say: Great! I’m actually not that busy.

 

Follow on Facebook Follow on Instagram Follow on Twitter Follow on Pinterest

Hi, I’m Andrea

On this blog you’ll be learning with me how to use our voices, share our creative superpowers and live life in full color.

As an artist, photographer, life coach + mentor, I’m redefining what it means to be a SUPERHERO — ‘cause in my world, it’s got nothing to do with capes, spandex or sidekicks and everything to do with tenderness, intuition & baby steps of bravery.

LEARN MORE ABOUT ME >

36 Comments

  1. Jacqueline

    Yes! Yes! Yes! We aren’t that busy. We just seem to think that the whirlwind that we are creating in our minds is busyness and that form of busy is good and valued. I am right there with you, Andrea! I’m great! I’m actually not that busy!

    Reply
  2. Kim B.

    A foreign concept to my mind, but definitely one I will try on for size. Thank you, Andrea!

    Reply
  3. kathleen Warner

    Good morning Kathleen…how’s it going? It’s great…the kids are cool and the best thing is…I’m not too busy! How about a coffee? 🙂

    Reply
  4. simone

    Yes! That point in Brene’s talk really stood out for me. We use busy to say all kinds of things: I’m making money, my life is so full, my business is rocking–or the flip side–I don’t have time for you, I’m totally avoiding what I need to do (exercise, cook), I’m falling apart. It’s a theme that keeps coming up in my mom’s group, busy busy busy and lonely. Wouldn’t it be great to live in a place where busy-ness is not valued? It could be like this: How are you? I’m not busy, as in, I have time and space in my life for you.

    Reply
  5. moyra

    Am with you!! LASt week my plans were devastated by snow and illness and I felt really up against it. In fact my skeleton service was fine… nothing fell apart. I was also doing a yoga school homework on Asteya. One of the interpretations of this (it means non stealing) is that to steal indicates a lack of belief in the abundance of the universe. A fear that there is not enough. I found myself creating a mantra of “I have plenty of time” instead of screeching in my head about there not being enough time to do everything I needed to do! Sometimes we create our own ‘busy’ out of nothing. the world doesn’t fall apart if we believe something else instead….

    Reply
  6. Andrea

    Oh yes! This…

    “If you see it all as part of the creative process (and I do) — the daydreams, the walks, the lying on the couch, the spontaneous lunch with a friend — it starts to make sense. My best work is done this way– not when I am pinched and constricted but expansive and present.”

    I need SOOOOO much time and space for creativity. And I feel that many judge and think it’s laziness (including myself sometimes).

    But this isn’t going to be easy…

    “The next time someone asks you how you are, I dare you to say: Great! I’m actually not that busy.”

    Very deeply ingrained.

    So thank you for this!

    Reply
  7. Kerstin

    Phew, I wish it was that easy, I really do. I spend at least 9 hours every day working in a very busy school office where the pace is relentless. I am generally quite good at establishing my boundaries and delegating but for reasons of their own this is often not possible. By the time I get home in the evenings I am often so exhausted (physically and mentally) that all the other things I need to and would like to spend my time on fall by the wayside. I have never regarded busy-ness as a measure of my worth and have certainly never aspired to being busy, having always preferred a more relaxed pace. I might try telling myself that I am actually not that busy, just not in front of my boss! 🙂

    Reply
  8. karen

    oh i feel the exact same way!! when people tell me now “oh you must be so busy” I say “no, i’m not that busy. i have time for people and things i love and people and things that matter.” it’s a reminder to myself to constantly review my priorities and check that my time is going where i want it to go 🙂

    Reply
  9. nicole

    I so love this! I also think ‘busy’ can be a state of mind … sometimes I feel like I am better at balancing things than at other times, and hence feel ‘less busy’ (but am I? Am I busy in the first place anyway?!). I am going to try this answer for sure the next time someone asks 🙂

    Reply
  10. susan

    Fantastico! Andrea!!

    Reply
  11. Maya

    Simply brilliant, and brilliantly simple. Andrea, you help us get on with our lives – busy or actually not – with more clarity, honesty, and self-acceptance. Thank you for risking yourself so that we may follow suit. xoxo.

    Reply
  12. Jennifer

    I think this is so important. Life is too short to live it in a blur.

    Reply
  13. Jill Salahub

    I’m in! The message from the Universe for me lately, over and over, is that I can do more by doing less, that I can have the freedom I want by focusing on one thing at a time, that a small and simple life are just the right fit. “The imagination needs moodling – long, inefficient, happy idling, dawdling, and puttering,” (Brenda Ueland). This morning, instead of rushing to my writing desk, I played with Dexter and his “baby” for 15 minutes. I felt connected and calm and content. And I still got my writing done.

    Reply
  14. Deb @ Home life simplified

    I’ve been doing this as well – one of my issues is rushing and I get stressed driving places and missing traffic lights etc. I started telling myself I have enough time. I am okay letting that light go and can instead drink some water or sing along with Adele. It is about what we tell ourselves and we can either create stress or calm ourselves down. xx

    Reply
  15. Kate D

    I totally hear you. Perhaps we should just say “great!” and leave it at that. 🙂

    Reply
  16. Tina

    I. Love. This. Thanks for sharing!! 🙂

    Reply
  17. Jenn Higgins

    I almost shouted YES outloud when I read this!!!
    My partner and I decided to get a puppy right after the new year. I told myself over and over, I think I’m just too busy for all the time and attention it will take, but I really want one. I sat myself down and had a good, long look at myself, and where my time was being spent and realized…I’m not that busy! Sure I can go from the time I get up, till bed time but I don’t HAVE to. I get to choose, time for the dogs, wife, freinds, me etc. I am amazed at how less stressed I feel and how more aware of myself this has helped me become. I think it’s my 2013 Mantra now.

    Reply
  18. Kelly Luna

    Yes!! I’m also a recovering “busy glorifier.” It was a badge of honor. It’s only more recently that I realize that it’s *not* a good thing and not how I want to define me or my life. I’m with you, Andrea. Let’s hang out. I’m not that busy. 🙂

    Reply
  19. Anna

    Yes! I love this. I have been aware of that busy trap for a while and it can be so easy to say how you’ve been is Busy, but that pushes aside everything else and does glorify busy-ness as something that makes you a better more worthwhile person.

    Reply
  20. Manisha

    I told someone this weekend I was “doing great.” She asked if I was busy and I said “no, not too much.” She gave me the oddest look but I left feeling like a superhero because yes, of course, there are times that I am busy, but in that moment I was relaxed and happy and feeling great!

    Reply
  21. Elise

    I know I say I’m busy to cover my guilt that I am not doing the work I want/value the most.

    Reply
  22. Richele Silva

    I stopped yesterday and drank a bit of my coffee and ate my breakfast treat SITTING DOWN. I told myself I was not SO busy I couldn’t enjoy a few minutes.

    love it. doing it more.

    Reply
  23. Nancy Guillery

    Thank you!!! I’ve been noticing the same thing! People, myself included, always seem to be commenting on how busy life is. There are periods of time when it is true everything is hectic and you seem to be going non stop. But, there are also many times when our reflex is to say that we are busy busy busy, but in reality we are able to find time to sit in front of the tv for hours on end, wake-up late, and veg. There’s nothing wrong with relaxing and doing nothing. But when we find ourselves complaining about how busy we are we need to step back and assess if the things that are keeping us busy are really things we want to be spending time doing. I always find it funny when people say they don’t have time to exercise, for example, but if you look at how they spend their day they are watching tv, staying longer then needed at the office, wasting time obsessing about cleaning the house from top to bottom, etc. Everything is a choice. When you choose to spend time on the things that are priorities for you, you are never overwhelmed with being busy with useless time wasting.

    Reply
  24. Alex Zaphiris

    As a doctor, I definitely got the message that you are expected to be busy all the time. The unconscious message is that if you aren’t busy then you aren’t a good doctor. It’s been a process of unlearning that message for me and re-framing how to work and not be stressed. Really I’m a better doctor when I am calm and not stressed, in order words, when I am not busy…Thanks for the reinforcement.

    Reply
  25. Nicole

    seriously in love with this post

    Reply
  26. Juli I

    I just finished Daring Greatly and am now ready for Gifts of Imperfection. I totally going to start saying…”I’m really not that busy.” I love it! It sounds so much more grounded and peaceful. Thanks for sharing.

    Reply
  27. phyie

    yes! im actually not that busy … 😀

    Reply
  28. Billy

    The UCAS Code for that College is S30, code-name SOLNT.

    Reply
  29. DKDBNFUAXPGGSUXS

    Along with everything that appears to be building inside this specific subject material, many of your points of view are actually fairly exciting. Nevertheless, I beg your pardon, because I do not give credence to your whole plan, all be it radical none the less. It looks to us that your comments are generally not entirely rationalized and in reality you are generally your self not even wholly convinced of the point. In any event I did take pleasure in examining it.

    Reply
  30. XQMFLJXTVGETNL

    certainly like your web site however you need to test the spelling on several of your posts. A number of them are rife with spelling issues and I to find it very troublesome to inform the truth nevertheless I will surely come again again.

    Reply
  31. Jordan

    These are actually enormous ideas in concerning blogging. You have touched some good points here.
    Any way keep up wrinting.

    Reply
  32. agen judi online terpercaya

    I have been exploring for a little for any high-quality articles or weblog posts on this
    kind of space . Exploring in Yahoo I finally stumbled upon this web
    site. Studying this info So i’m satisfied to show that I have an incredibly
    just right uncanny feeling I came upon exactly what I needed.

    I such a lot unquestionably will make certain to do not forget
    this website and provides it a look regularly.

    Reply
  33. Domino QQ

    Greetings! I’ve been reading your website for a long time now and finally got the courage to go ahead and give you a shout out from Houston Tx!
    Just wanted to mention keep up the excellent job!

    Reply
  34. oprol evorter

    Hi, just required you to know I he added your site to my Google bookmarks due to your layout. But seriously, I believe your internet site has 1 in the freshest theme I??ve came across. It extremely helps make reading your blog significantly easier.

    Reply

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Something Good | A Thousand Shades of Gray - [...] I’m actually not that busy. a good reminder, a dare from Andrea Scher. I’m [...]
  2. Busy | Dragonlane - [...] read a blog post at Superhero Journal today about the glorification of busy and it got me to thinking.…
  3. What Your Busyness Really Says About You | Escape Adulthood with Kim & Jason - [...] love this post by Andrea Scher about her refreshing new mantra: I’m actually not that [...]
  4. Busyness | movingbeyondthebox - [...] love this post by Andrea Scher about her refreshing new mantra: I’m actually not that [...]
  5. What A Week | Allowing Myself - [...] panic issues, and lots of self-love. Constant reassurance that “I got this” and “I’m really not that busy“. Lots…
  6. Body Image Boosters From The Blogosphere 3.24.13 | Weightless - [...] muses on the idea of being busy. This is a powerful [...]
  7. Mara Glatzel » Body Loving Blogosphere 03.24.13 - [...] I’m totally with Andrea Scher as she strives to stop the glorification of busy. [...]
  8. An Invitation to Re-examine ‘Busy’ | Run to Your Life Coaching - [...] read a thought-provoking post on the subject of busyness recently that got me reflecting about this subject a [...]
  9. Organising Queen » Blog Archive » Some really good reading for the weekend & the (not so small) Google Reader issue - [...] I’m actually not that busy – love this one!!! [...]
  10. The Perpetual Vacation How Feelings Help Choose Your Path — The Perpetual Vacation - [...] I hit a major bout of Burnout when I launched my book on four hours of sleep. After that, I…

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Ready for your next creative adventure?

Download the Mondo Beyondo dream generator!

Latest from the blog

[Podcast] The Good Eater with Nina Guilbeault

[Podcast] The Good Eater with Nina Guilbeault

In The Good Eater, Harvard-trained sociologist (and vegan) Nina Guilbeault, PhD vividly explores the movement's history and its present-day tensions by grappling with the most fundamental question of all: Is there a truly ethical way to eat? What emerges is a...

read more
[Podcast] The medicine of poetry with James Crews

[Podcast] The medicine of poetry with James Crews

James Crews is the editor of several bestselling anthologies, including The Path to Kindness: Poems of Connection and Joy and How to Love the World: Poems of Gratitude and Hope, which has over 100,000 copies in print. He has been featured in The Washington Post, The...

read more

self guided e-courses
INSTANT & FOREVER ACCESS

Choosing Ease

30 days of ease, joy and cultivating wonder

I believe that when I’m creating from a place of ease and buoyancy I am actually in flow – in alignment with myself and the Universe.

Capture the Magic

Rock your camera-phone - and discover that beauty and joy are everywhere.

The very best camera is the one that’s with you! I’ll show you how to get on your own path of joy and delight while learning photography skills along the way.

mondo beyondo

What does your heart truly want in 2020? 

What if you could name your dreams and desires for 2020 and create a plan to make them reality?

VIEW MORE COURSES

Experiments in Wonder:Your FREE 5-day mini course designed to activate your delight + joy.

This will also get you access to my mailing list full of weekly-ish inspiration, updates and musings. I'm so glad you're here!

You have Successfully Subscribed!