The learning cycle + the messy middle.

When I started my coaching training back in 2006, they presented us with the learning cycle you see above. Basically, you start off not knowing everything you don’t know. (You know that saying, I thought I was a pretty good parent until I had kids? Kind of like that)

As you learn more about a subject, you become aware of everything you don’t know about it. This is when it becomes SO much more interesting! or frustrating as the case may be. We can be painfully aware of what we don’t know.

The good news is that if we keep going, we start achieving some mastery and competence… and then finally move into the zone where we aren’t even aware of all we know – it’s just second nature!

I’ve been thinking about this in regard to relationships lately.

  • I’m learning to stay aligned with my highest vision for relationship.

  • I’m learning to say no to what isn’t in line with that vision.

  • I’m learning to name feelings that I would normally have called “attraction” to naming them activation… which means that my nervous system is activated by this person. (It doesn’t mean this person is right for me. It might mean they are simply lighting up my wounded parts because they feel familiar.) I am learning to move more slowly and be more discerning.

  • I’m learning to make choices from the most grown up, self-loving part of me… the part of me that knows that I’m lovable, amazing and worthy of being adored.

That all sounds good, right? Except for the humbling process of now being aware of all the ways I can still betray myself! When I didn’t know (unconscious incompetence) I didn’t have to take responsibility. I could blame others. I could make up stories like, all the good ones are taken. That sort of thing. As I move along the learning cycle, I am finding my power. I am taking responsibility in a new way. And I am willing to be uncomfortable to be in the process because I know I am trucking along that curve!

This applies to any growing edge we are exploring in our lives – setting boundaries, being mindful, looking at our money.

What is your learning/growing edge these days?

It can feel like things get worse before they get better – mostly because we are finally aware of what we are learning. (My mentor and friend SARK calls this The Messy Middle) But here’s the good news: If you are experiencing the humbling discomfort of learning, it means you’re in the game. You’re in the arena. You’re doing the work. And I am here to high-five you today. Because it takes courage to do the work.

And did I mention you’re not alone? You are most definitely, not alone.

Follow on Facebook Follow on Instagram Follow on Twitter Follow on Pinterest

Hi, I’m Andrea

On this blog you’ll be learning with me how to use our voices, share our creative superpowers and live life in full color.

As an artist, photographer, life coach + mentor, I’m redefining what it means to be a SUPERHERO — ‘cause in my world, it’s got nothing to do with capes, spandex or sidekicks and everything to do with tenderness, intuition & baby steps of bravery.



  1. Christa

    Oh, how I needed this reminder today. Thank you, thank you.

  2. oprol evorter

    Great website. Lots of useful information here. I am sending it to some pals ans additionally sharing in delicious. And naturally, thanks for your effort!


Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Ready for your next creative adventure?

Download the Mondo Beyondo dream generator!

Latest from the blog

CSP #82: We Should Get Together with Kat Vellos

CSP #82: We Should Get Together with Kat Vellos

Listen in to this great conversation about adult friendship with expert Kat Vellos! Kat Vellos is a trusted expert on the power of cultivating meaningful friendships. She’s a speaker and author of the book, We Should Get Together: The Secret to Cultivating Better...

read more

self guided e-courses

Choosing Ease

30 days of ease, joy and cultivating wonder

I believe that when I’m creating from a place of ease and buoyancy I am actually in flow – in alignment with myself and the Universe.

Capture the Magic

Rock your camera-phone - and discover that beauty and joy are everywhere.

The very best camera is the one that’s with you! I’ll show you how to get on your own path of joy and delight while learning photography skills along the way.

mondo beyondo

What does your heart truly want in 2020? 

What if you could name your dreams and desires for 2020 and create a plan to make them reality?


Get your FREE guide to experiencing more wonder + joy!

Hop on my mailing list to get weekly-ish inspiration, updates and your free downloadable PDF: 9 ways to experience more wonder right now. I'm so glad you're here!

You have Successfully Subscribed!