I drove to pick him up after the Halloween festivities. It was a rough day of parenting a teen. “You know how I was really angry today?” I began. He nodded. “I think I was actually more hurt than angry.”
“Can you tell me more?” he said.
He stayed in the passenger seat even after we arrived at home. I got out, thinking he’d be done with the real talk, the talk about feelings, the talk about my frustration and hurt. But he stayed, pensive, more to say. So I got back in.
This is foreign to me, this child that doesn’t flee, who isn’t afraid of hard conversations, who doesn’t go into a trauma response at the first sign of conflict. (Hello, me!) He has something to teach me.
We didn’t land on a solution, but something shifted between us. It’s potent medicine just to be witnessed, to be heard. “Do you have any requests for me?” I asked. And he thought about it, and shared something important, something I was not seeing, a request for me to understand, to see things from his perspective.
Thich Nhat Hanh says, “Love is understanding’s other name.” And in that moment, I saw that we were simply trying to understand each other. However imperfect and messy and not wrapped in a bow. That this is love.
On the podcast
The podcast is back with brand new episodes! In anticipation of the release of my book Wonder Seeker, I interviewed a series of authors, artists and wonder-makers. You can subscribe with Apple Podcasts here! Or wherever you get your podcasts.
Wonder Seeker Read-Along E-course
Also, for everyone who purchases the book, you get access to the Wonder Seeker Read-Along e-course! Just enter your info on this page and you will get access to the course. We will go through lots of creative exercises in community and you will hear me reading from the book!