In theory, the idea of clearing out the old to make room for the new makes perfect sense. I believe that energy moves about freely when there is proper space to do so. I have experienced the freeing feeling of sorting and cleaning. I know that when you let go of something that is no longer serving you that often something wonderful comes along in its place. Even still, after first hand experience, it is easier said than done.
There are times in my life when I have been unstoppable, even super-human in my efforts, energy and enthusiasm to make changes, clear the clutter, purge and process. But there are other times—like recently—when every effort feels so difficult; excruciating even. The letting go of stuff is exhausting enough (if you saw my office, closets and garage you’d know what I mean) but beyond that, it’s the soul clutter that’s got me feeling debilitated.
Since the work of it all feels too overwhelming to face, my hope is that I continue my baby steps toward order (even in the tiniest little snippets) the rest will follow. In other words, my plea to the Universe is for much needed help. My hope, my wish, is that if I continue to slowly, deliberately clear the clutter around me, my efforts will be mirrored in my soul. I can only try. And hope.
When I think about it too much, I get paralyzed, afraid of letting go. Or perhaps it’s fear of what’s to come. Fear of failure? Fear of success? Fear of being totally naked and exposed, stripped of all my external and internal cover-ups? I have no idea but my guess is it’s probably a little of all of that. Regardless of what demons I am up against, I know it’s time. I feel it in my bones. And I know that if I truly believe everything I have always said I believe, I will keep moving forward trusting that when I ask for help, and keep my heart open to it, help will be graciously given. After all, a dandelion is never asked to do its work alone. It’s the gift of the wind; the nudge of gentle breath that helps it let go of what it’s holding onto. And we all know what’s possible when it finally lets go.
Tracey can be found taking small steps toward clarity at Mother May I and sharing the images and stories that guide her on her journey at Shutter Sisters. Self-portrait above captures her amidst the literal clutter in her closet..